Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the offspring upbringing is a debatable issue in the modern world, especially in the self-decision-making field. There are different approaches to parenting. Some believe that additional freedom and the ability to make
kids
' own choices on a daily basis may lead to selfish behaviour in the future. Others advocate that such
a way can yield only positive results. This
essay will shed some light on both points of view and provide the author's opinion.
On the one hand, the I-centric mindset could be developed during a growing process, especially with only one ward in the family. For instance
, some statistical data indicates that the average sole child brought up in a full family tends to be more selfish compared to kids
with brothers and sisters. Although
the data did not provide all the necessary information about the decision-making procedures inside observed households, the researchers stated a hypothesis about the correlation between selfish attitudes and infants' ability to make decisions.
On the other hand
, offspring who were allowed to make their own choices in their families demonstrated better cognitive and adapting skills. For example
, according to
a study conducted at the University of North Carolina, such
children outperform their peers in math and humanitarian classes by twenty-one per cent. The researchers link these results with the kids
' ability to make choices faster and without additional tension. Thus
, the skills obtained in households with different upbringing processes could be beneficial for people's descendants.
To sum up
, wards' decision-making process on a daily basis has as the advantages as the drawbacks. From my perspective, parents should strike a happy medium in such
a daring undertaking. It is recommended to separate the life-changing issues from the minor ones and give kids
a chance to express themselves without additional risks.Submitted by 8453525 on
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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider clarifying your own opinion more explicitly. Although you have provided a conclusion that somewhat indicates your stance, your reader may benefit from a clearer articulation of your personal viewpoint within the body of the essay.
Task Achievement
Integrate a broader range of specific, relevant examples to support your points. While you mention studies to back your arguments, adding more detailed examples or expanding on the ones provided can strengthen your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Although your essay has a logical structure, enhancing transitions between sentences and paragraphs can make your argument flow more naturally.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph discusses a single main idea, supported by specific evidence or examples. This strategy will not only improve coherence but also enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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