When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

It is often argued, that while designing new towns more provisions for the construction of

parks

and

sports

amenities should be considered rather than shopping malls. I completely agree with

this

notion that

parks

and

sports

are more important for public welfare as compared to shopping centres.

Firstly

, building more

parks

and providing better

sports

facilities will enhance

Add an article

the

show examples

healthy lifestyle of individuals. Recreational activities are very important for all age groups whether children, teenagers, adults or old age people.Nowadays, due to the sedentary lifestyles public

parks

provide a good platform for all individuals to relax and spend their time in leisure and it is beneficial for both physical as well as psychological wellness.

For instance

, Chandigarh is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add a hyphen

best-planned

show examples

best

Add an article

a best

show examples

planned city in India.The reason behind

this

is its design and the most salient feature of

this

city is public

parks

in every society which not only contributes to

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle but keeps

enviroment

Correct your spelling

environment

pollution- free

Add a hyphen

pollution-free

show examples

Secondly

, constructing more shopping malls means, people will more often opt for shopping,

thus

there will be

Add an article

show examples

rise in their expenditure.

On the other hand

, building more

sports

centres will help the youngsters to do better in their

respected

Replace the word

respective

show examples

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

. It will give

Change the word

apply

show examples

better players to the nation and they can achieve more awards and honours for their countries in Olympics or world federation games. One of the best examples proving

this

is Japan which won maximum prizes in

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Olympic games in 2020.

This

was possible because their government has constructed more

sports

academies in every city to promote and boost the players. To conclude, recreational grounds and

sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

should be built more while planning new towns rather than shopping malls.

This

will not only be beneficial for an individual but for the prosperity of the whole nation.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Sat May 07 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

in many places, large chain stores are taking over the market place, making it impossible for small businesses to compete with them. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

Task 1. The picture below shows the differences in the layout of the conference centre

Some people think that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect. Others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that excessive use of modern technologies, such as computers and smartphones, is negatively affecting the reading and writing skills of our young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?