IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A lot of old people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What do you think are the reasons for this problem? Can you think of possible .

#people #loneliness #lack #fitness
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many individuals from the
age
Use synonyms
 of 40 years above find it difficult to engage in exercise and suffer loneliness.
This
Linking Words
 can be a result of hard workout
routines
Use synonyms
 as their body gets stiffer as they
age
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, most old folks are engaged during their youthful days.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that if most of them can create
time
Use synonyms
 from their busy
routines
Use synonyms
 to exercise, meet new people and maintain relationships with family it would reduce loneliness.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most old people spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 during their younger
age
Use synonyms
 working and getting busy, doing different activities that take up their
time
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when they retire, the majority become lonely and have less
time
Use synonyms
 to keep fit.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these individuals barely have the
time
Use synonyms
 to exercise and even the ones who do, find it difficult to do heavy workout
routines
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a 60-year-old man would find it difficult to do 50 pushups at his current
age
Use synonyms
 as he used to when he was younger.
Lastly
Linking Words
, staying fit and having people around is harder for the old folks and I believe that some of the remedies may include engaging in exercises at an early
age
Use synonyms
 and doing simpler
routines
Use synonyms
 when older, making it a deliberate action to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and family.
For instance
Linking Words
, organise hangouts or fun activities with friends and family every week. In conclusion, most old folks would be healthier when they work out and are surrounded by loved ones which
as a result
Linking Words
 would certainly reduce loneliness for them.
Submitted by silaskolo007 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: