IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#museums #charge #admission #people
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People
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 have different views on the entry fees charged by museums, but I believe that no
museum
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 should collect fees from the public because of several reasons. Removing the
admission
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fee
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 for the
museum
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 would benefit the public. The
first
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 reason behind
this
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 view is that it will benefit the public. In some ,countries the economic status is not good and
people
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 do not wish to spend money on
such
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 things because they are struggling to fulfil their needs and they do not have extra money to spend on other things.
Secondly
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, if there is no
admission
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fee
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, it will attract more
people
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 to visit the
museum
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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 would visit museums
instead
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 of public places
such
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 as the park and the seacoast and so on. In that case,
people
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 will not only have quality time but
also
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 become familiar with the concept of the
museum
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 and its advantages.
Finally
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, facilitating circumstances like free
admission
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 would be a good encouragement to young individuals / a young individual to visit the
museum
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 more often and get familiar with the history of their own nations.
For instance
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, King Nader Shah Afshar is the person that the Iranian
people
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 are always proud of because he expanded the territory of Iran during his rule. His
museum
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 is located in Khorasan province and ,
actually
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,actually
show examples
 it’s free and open to the public so that young Iranians all know about his actions.
On the other hand
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, even though the charging of the
admission
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fee
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 is not beneficial for the
people
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, it does have some benefits. In my opinion, the
admission
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fee
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 helps authorities recover the maintenance costs of the
museum
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 and provide better services to the public. In the same vein, some part of the income could be spent on renewing cultural heritage
such
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 as ancient sculptures or buildings that have long been ignored by the governments. The other issue is that when
people
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 pay for something they want it to be worth their money.
Furthermore
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, they won’t visit the
museum
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 except they have special purposes and scheduled plans to use every minute they have and enjoy their moments
Finally
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, the
admission
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 charge avoids the excessive halt of
people
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 and actual visitors have more chances of visiting the
museum
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 and enjoying their moment. Meanwhile, securing an area with a fewer proportion of visitors would be as easy as securing a crowded area. In conclusion,
although
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 charging an
admission
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fee
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 would be beneficial in some cases, there are more benefits to offering free entry.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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