Prision is a common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to give people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?
Prison is a place to give punishment for
criminals
. Moreover
, for the solution of offences, this
method
has been used by various nations. although
, education
is a useful method
to solve issues. I disagree with this
notion. This
essay will articulate predominant reasons for disagreement, along with
a relevant conclusion.
To commence with ,education
influences
individuals ,who are doing criminal activities for self-rescue and humankind who are born to do the crime
, teaching is not successful, for example
, years ago, a woman named Jolly who has a criminal mind engaged in the murder of family members for assets .This
kind of people
never change their attitude, they have more tendency to kill mankind unnecessarily. So in my opinion, education
is not effective.
On the other hand
, imprisonment
and death sentence is the best method
to mitigate crimes. The person who commits a crime
should be given life imprisonment
. It may lead to repentance. But it is not possible for all people
. Some never change their mentality. To epitome, after imprisonment
, some criminals
are involved in crimes to earn money. Nowadays numerous famous people
utilise them for their needs.The government should impose life imprisonment
for this
kind of people
. Ultimately, the crime
rate will decrease. So in between these people
, education
is not an effective method
.
To conclude
, some people
have different opinions regarding imprisonment
and
education
. Education
would not influence
criminals
. After education
, if the government releases criminals
would be involved in more criminal activities. In my opinion, lockup is the best method
to reduce the crime
. so the government should encourage imprisonment
and the death penalty in our country. So I disagree with this
statementSubmitted by saniyasunny1848 on
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Task Response
Work on improving the clarity and structure of your argument throughout the essay. The introduction could be more engaging, and clearer transitions between paragraphs are needed to guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for higher precision in grammar and vocabulary to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your communication. Avoid repetition and be mindful of sentence structure to avoid confusion. Reading more academic essays or articles on similar topics may help.
Task Response
Develop your main points more fully, incorporating more detailed examples and explanations. This will help make a more compelling and comprehensive case for your argument. Including counterarguments and addressing them can also strengthen your essay.
Task Response
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a clear expectation for the reader. This is a good practice and helps in guiding the essay in a focused direction.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have made a conscious effort to include examples to support your points, which demonstrates an understanding of the need to back up arguments with evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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