IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that saving money is more important than spending it on enjoying life to what extent do you agree or disagree

The pressing issue of rising living expenses has become a topic of heated debate.
Due to
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 the fluctuating economic conditions, the need for saving money has become a necessity rather than a luxury.
Although
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 many
people
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 associate expenditure reduction with frugality, I am convinced that effective budgeting and expense reduction are key strategies for financial management.
This
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 holds true for many reasons.
First,
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saving money helps individuals prioritise their essential needs over unnecessary desires. When
people
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 plan their expenses carefully, they are more likely to focus on covering basic needs
such
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 as housing, education, and healthcare before considering entertainment or luxury purchases.
For example
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, students who start saving early are less likely to rely on bank loans when they enter college, which reduces long-term financial stress.
Second,
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prudent financial management can create a safety net during unexpected
life
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 emergencies.
Life
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 is unpredictable, and situations
such
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 as job loss, sudden illness, or car breakdown usually require immediate expenses. Without a financial buffer,
people
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 may suffer when dealing with these situations, leading to debt or emotional stress.
Therefore
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, maintaining emergency funds ensures stability and peace of mind.
Last
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 but not least, careful budgeting guarantees financial security during retirement, a stage of
life
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 when consistent income is absent. Individuals who plan ahead and build enough savings are more likely to enjoy a stress-free lifestyle in their late years.
For instance
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, retired
people
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 who receive a retirement fund do not need to depend on others for their daily needs.
To sum up
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,
while
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 some
people
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 think enjoying
life
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 through spending is important, I strongly believe that money saving plays a crucial role in ensuring comfort and stability. Through careful budgeting, emergency preparedness, and retirement planning, individuals can guarantee a stress-free lifestyle

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Task Response
Your introduction is clear and presents your viewpoint well, but consider adding a brief explanation of the counterargument to give a fuller picture of the debate.
Task Response
You can improve your essay by adding more examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs clearly link to each other. You can use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more. Using different types of sentences can make your writing more interesting to read.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion, showing your ability to organize ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to explain your points, which helps to make your arguments more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Security
  • Freedom
  • Pursue dreams and goals
  • Emergency funds
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Quality of life
  • Improving
  • Purchases
  • Supporting
  • Economy
  • Creating jobs
  • Balance
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