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MANY YOUNG PEOPLE SPEND MUCH OF THEIR FREE TIME IN SHOPPING MALLS.THIS HAS A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON THEM AND SOCIETY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DIS AGREE?

#people #time #malls #effect #society #dis
It is true that spending
time
 in shopping malls seems to be a nonsensical activity which has disadvantages for youth and
society
. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement, and the following example will be provided in order to support my point of view. To start with, one of the most important reasons why teenagers spend much of their free
time
 in plazas has not only drawbacks is that most of them spend
time
 in the shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 for their academic reasons since there are many tutorial institutes there.
For example
, the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University revealed that 80% of academy tutoring in big cities in Thailand are in large shopping malls which tends to be more convenient and safe for them and their guardians. Having said that, spending free
time
 in the shopping mall as a teenager might be for a relaxing reason after hard studying. Another reason to support
this
 is the fact that there are many events which are opening opportunities for them in order to express their ability or their creativity to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
This
 is because youth are at the age of finding their life's purpose and wanting to be an acceptable
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in their
society
. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that 80% of shopping malls in Bangkok tend to open new areas for leisure activities
such
 as skateboard playgrounds, football fields, or even the free area for studying with supporting facilities; wifi, plunge.
As a result
,
this
 is likely to have a more positive effect on
society
 than a negative,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 it can reduce drug addiction in adolescence. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that I believe that spending a teenager's free
time
 in
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 have not only negative as a waste of
time
 because there can be
relaxing
Correct article usage
a relaxing
show examples
 place after hard studying and it can be a new community for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 have the same interesting which would reduce social problems in young people.
Submitted by boon.suchaya on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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