Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

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The ideal world has become a desire of so many brilliant visioners over the years.

However

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, it is not an easy job to get everyone on board under the same umbrella

due to

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people having different opinions. In my point of view, a perfect society is a community where there is no crime happening in any form.

Therefore

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, there are two things that society can aim for in pursuit of an ideal civilization which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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establishing strong regulations related to misconduct and investing in special

forces

Use synonyms

just for crime prevention.

Firstly

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, the idea of a perfect nation will not become true without any enforcement of the written rules regarding crimes and their punishment that

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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authority and are highly appreciated by folk.

In other words

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. These written rules must be promoted anywhere and everywhere, all citizens should be aware of these rules.

For example

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, bring the awareness and promotion of it to the schools, offices, public spaces, in national and local televisions,

as well as

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spread the awareness online.

Moreover

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, the crowd must know that the consequence of breaking these laws will take place on

spot

Correct article usage

the spot

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Hence

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, the government must voice one agreement to enforce

this

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law and the folk must abide.

Secondly

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, strengthen the special

forces

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that have a sole assignment which is to prevent the misdemeanor and execute the punishment.

Furthermore

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this

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unit will work around the clock, must maintain their objectivity and the most important thing is to blend with the public to help them understand the purpose of the government regulation and especially their operation.

For instance

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, the patrol unit will be seen everywhere in the city, county, and village,

whereas

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the special force post buildings should be located on every corner.

Thus

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, maintaining the national security

forces

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and imposing their activity in action will lead the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

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to live in order.

To conclude

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, crime prevention law and the presence of special

forces

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will create the ideal world where nobody will suffer from criminal acts.

HELENLAPRETue Jan 31 2023

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task achievement

Consider expanding on your ideas with more detailed explanations and examples for clarity. For instance, you could elaborate on how specific regulations might deter crime or provide examples of successful implementations.

coherence and cohesion

Try to create smoother transitions between your ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. This can be achieved by using linking words or phrases that indicate the relationship between your points.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and any minor typos, as these can impact the overall impression and clarity of your writing.

task achievement

You have a clear and relevant stance on what the essential element of a perfect society should be, which is clearly conveyed in your thesis statement.

coherence and cohesion

The organization of your essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs focusing on separate main points, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

16
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

equality
inclusivity
socioeconomic status
empowers
critical thinking
innovative solutions
legal system
justice
environmental sustainability
sustainable living
civic engagement
governance
address the needs
effective

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Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

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Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people feel this is a positive trend while some people feel this is leading to a negative consequences. Discuss both the side and give your opinion.