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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of fitness are decreasing. What do you think are causes of these problem and solutions?

#countries #weight #people #level #fitness
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In the past two
decades
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,decades
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 the world has changed a lot. It causes a huge effect on human life and health. Now, one of the most common problems is the increasing average weight, whereas the tendency of healthcare and sport
are
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is
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 not a high priority.
This
 concerns many countries, so these issues are going to a global level. In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I will discuss the causes of
this
 problem and suggest possible solutions. As a matter of fact, it takes a start from the eating habits which are emerging and reinforced in our family. Almost everyone heard from his parents that we should not leave the leftovers, even if we are not hungry anymore. At
first
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,first
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 it seemed like nothing dangerous, but in
fact
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,fact
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 it has many consequences
such
 as overeating.
As a result
, it can cause not just obesity which is extremely harmful to our cardiovascular system, but
also
 the person can lose the feeling of saturation. On top of all these physical diseases, it can encourage mental problems like bulimia which can lead to death.
However
, it is not the only reason for
this
 critical question. Now, junky food like crisps and sweets are very popular and it is advertised at every turn. Social media impact us a lot, so it is not a surprise that children are ready to buy anything sweet
that is
 suggested to them. As it was convinced from the above, the core of
this
 problem lies in our early childhood.
Therefore
, the parents are responsible for the future eating custom.
First
 of all, they should not use the pressure to feed the child, it will only cause bad habits and diseases.
Second
 of all, it is important to instil sports
to
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in
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 the children from their earliest.The more active person will grow up, the less risk of obesity he would have.
Last
 but not the least, social media should focus more on sports activities and, for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, should create a free TV program with exercises for everyone. In
conclusion
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,conclusion
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 I can say that the question about health is acute nowadays, so people should pay attention to it even more than before.
Submitted by sidramassri47 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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