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Band 7.5

Topic: Many children and students are taught to push themselves to be better than others rather than work together for everyones’s benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#topic #children #students #work #everyones’s
Many kids as well as pre-teens are taught to push themselves to be better than others
instead
 of working together for everyone's benefit. To my way of thinking, there are both pros and cons in different contexts. In defence of the
first
 argument, there are all kinds of reasons why
this
 is a good idea if you ask me. For one thing, kids do well at school and university. They always have to be in a competitive mind to perform their best.
This
 means they are afraid of failing.
For instance
, the high school entrance exam in China is a classic case in point. Many teens have to compete with their classmates to get into a high-ranking university under the same exam conditions. A reputable university is almost a guarantee of employment. Be that as it may,
however
, there are
also
 reasons why
this
 view has problems, the way I see it. In the
first
 place, it creates stress on children.
This
 is because they have to study much harder for longer hours, which is not good in the long run. Stress is bad for children's health. It may lead to possible mental health issues, including anxiety, depression and so on. On top of
this
, pri-teens who grow up in a competitive environment lack people skills. Their competitive behaviour might be a challenge for them to work in a group. If they do not have good people skills, life will be very difficult. Turning to my own experience, the way things are when it comes to
this
 in my country, China, is very similar to the circumstances across the world over. My home city of Beijing is a textbook example in
this
 regard. Here, youngsters are always taught to compete with their peers either for academic or leisure activities from a young age. Many of them do not have good people skills because they are more self-centred. At the end of the day. there are good and bad to all choices we make, both as individuals and as a society. Parents need to be mindful of the amount of pressure they put on their offspring.
Submitted by Danmajyid on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instilling
  • Competitive spirit
  • Self-improvement
  • Personal excellence
  • Excessive competition
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Win-at-all-costs mentality
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Collaboration skills
  • Teamwork
  • Mutual success
  • Wider community
  • Educational settings
  • Social development
  • Groundbreaking achievements
  • Collective effort
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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