Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that is a good thing while others argue that it is not suitable . Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that the number of young

people

Use synonyms

who hold highly responsible posts in the government is growing.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

are opposed to

this

Linking Words

idea, I support the view that

this

Linking Words

trend is beneficial at present. On the one hand,

this

Linking Words

trend has some notable drawbacks. The main issue is that it is really hard for the young to make older

people

Use synonyms

accept their leadership, especially in some Eastern nations. Young leaders are always thought to have insufficient capabilities to manage

such

Linking Words

aspects of policy as the economy or international affairs.

In addition

Linking Words

, all of them are short on real experience. If they have not faced many challenges in their career, they are more likely to make mistakes, which can affect the lives of many

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it seems to me that young

people

Use synonyms

are becoming an increasingly important part of the government and bring a lot of benefits .One reason is that their youth is a huge advantage which allows them to be creative and up-to-date.

This

Linking Words

is likely to result in many innovative breakthrough policies and styles of management.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the young have a very long period of time to contribute to their nations.

For example

Linking Words

, with the same abilities and qualifications, a younger candidate is more likely to be elected than an older counterpart in some countries because of his longer anticipated time of devotion to public service in the future. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are strong arguments for both views, it seems to me that on the

whole

Add a comma

whole,

show examples

it is beneficial that more young

people

Use synonyms

are being selected to play some key roles in the government.

dieulinh1797Sat Jul 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially regarding the benefits of young leaders and the challenges they might face in gaining acceptance.

coherence and cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more to enhance the overall flow and engagement of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

Emphasize the conclusion by summarizing the key points more clearly; this could make your overall argument more compelling.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a well-defined conclusion.

task achievement

You present both sides of the argument fairly, showing an understanding of the topic and its complexity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Innovative solutions
Modern policies
Adequately represented
Viewpoints and issues
High energy levels
Adaptability
Complex political landscape
Impulsive decisions
Undue influence
Susceptible to pressure
Seasoned colleagues
Lobbyists

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
When people are showering money on appearance, they often overlook a thought-provoking fact that they are dedicated to being an appropriate object prepared for others' looks, which, in my opinion, is a regrettable consequence of modern moral theories. I personally would not regard it as an advancement, but willing to share my thinking about its origin and adverse influences.
7.5
band
Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?
In this essay, I want to give the positive and negative aspects of working or studying at the house. In the beginning, The world is every day changing, people are trying to adapt to new work and life standards. Therefore, working at the house become popular due to its advantages. In my opinion, working or studying at the residence has too many positive sides. Thus, it is a positive development because of more flexibility, time-saving and economic convenience.
6
band
Some people think that students should study in their own city. However, many students prefer to study far away from their home. Do the advantages of studying away from home outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that students are increasingly deciding to study in another city. While I understand the concerns of those who say students should be educated in their home city, I would argue that the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks.
6.5
band
Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
All people should support each other by doing charity. Although it could help in order to overcome some problems however it has negative sides too.
7
band
In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet so there is no need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For a long time, museums have been serving as crucial sources of both cultural and historical information, showcasing items belonging to different civilizations, ethnic groups or events. Nevertheless, with the possibility of acquiring data online, some people have recently started to question the relevance of museums in today's world, claiming that they are no longer necessary. I completely disagree with this point of view for some reasons.

Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that is a good thing while others argue that it is not suitable . Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Some people think that students should study in their own city. However, many students prefer to study far away from their home. Do the advantages of studying away from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past important knowledge of culture and history was stored in the museums. Nowadays information is freely available on the internet so there is no need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?