Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#population #countries #adults #people #situation

this

modern world, aged

people

are becoming less compared to young adults,

this

situation make confusion among crowd regarding whether it is good or bad. I personally think

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apply

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the advantages and disadvantages are in an equal proportion,

this

essay points out both merits and demerits of

this

situation. If we look into the benefits of having more youngsters, they are the future of the nation, they have more potential for inventing new technologies

as a result

, the economy of the country get better.

For example

,young scientists found various kinds of vaccination against the covid virus ,

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

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after retirement age, old

people

cannot function well physically or mentally , in that situation we need a more efficient society.

However

, the retired community

also

play an important role in moulding a new

generation

, in the science of , educating their future about the value of ancient culture and its need to be continued to the

generation

.The ayurvedic treatment in India is a better example of the above statement, the older

generation

knows how to treat sick

people

by using

Correct the article-noun agreement

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natural remedies. But unfortunately, some middle age group is not ready to learn these values, so these types of skills are fading away from our community. To conclude, even though there are certain advantages of having an old age group in our society for passing our traditional culture and educating the coming

generation

regarding the lessons they earned from their experience, in order to compete with

this

modern era, for the existence ,the country needs young

people

Submitted by metiva09 on Fri May 20 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion