IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#wealth #guarantee #happiness
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In human lives,
although
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money
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 is important to live a high-quality life, ıt does not bring happiness. Many
people
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 think that
money
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 is everything but
also
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 it is not because if there is no
health
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,
money
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 will be useless. I partly agree with
this
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 statement because individuals need it to live more comfortable and protect their
health
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 or mentality. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding.
To begin
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 with, recent research suggests that focusing on
money
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 can be detrimental for many
people
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.
Therefore
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, the damage caused by
money
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 varies considerably depending on both affecting human lives and mental
health
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.
People
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 usually want to earn a lot of
money
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 to stay in a good house and to drive a pretty car.
For instance
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, Warren Buffett is the richest man in the world. if he wants, he can buy a lot of things but he does not buy them because he earned difficult conditions a few years ago. Indeed, individuals suppose to look for happiness but Warren Buffett spends
health
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 most of his
money
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 in a hospital.
On the other hand
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, according to some
people
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,
money
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 can open the door to happiness ,especially while young. Why, citizens who want to be rich want to be happy but not only own themselves and
also
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 the
people
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 they love and when they find the
money
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, they feel own something as prestigious which will make them look like an important person. To sum up, at
first
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 glance,
money
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 may look like an important thing but ,
actually
Add a comma
,actually
show examples
money
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 is just a tool to improve their lives. 259
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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