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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Wealth does not necessarily guarantee happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#wealth #guarantee #happiness
In human lives,
although
money
 is important to live a high-quality life, ıt does not bring happiness. Many
people
 think that
money
 is everything but
also
 it is not because if there is no
health
,
money
 will be useless. I partly agree with
this
 statement because individuals need it to live more comfortable and protect their
health
 or mentality. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding.
To begin
 with, recent research suggests that focusing on
money
 can be detrimental for many
people
.
Therefore
, the damage caused by
money
 varies considerably depending on both affecting human lives and mental
health
.
People
 usually want to earn a lot of
money
 to stay in a good house and to drive a pretty car.
For instance
, Warren Buffett is the richest man in the world. if he wants, he can buy a lot of things but he does not buy them because he earned difficult conditions a few years ago. Indeed, individuals suppose to look for happiness but Warren Buffett spends
health
 most of his
money
 in a hospital.
On the other hand
, according to some
people
,
money
 can open the door to happiness ,especially while young. Why, citizens who want to be rich want to be happy but not only own themselves and
also
 the
people
 they love and when they find the
money
, they feel own something as prestigious which will make them look like an important person. To sum up, at
first
 glance,
money
 may look like an important thing but ,
actually
Add a comma
,actually
show examples
money
 is just a tool to improve their lives. 259
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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