Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

There is a lot of controversy in opinions about suitable hobby times for
children
. Some
people
believe that
children
are given too much free
time
. They feel that
this
time
should be used for more
school
work. In my opinion, I support with
children
should have free
time
more than learning
time
. In the following paragraph, I will outweigh the advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, Some
people
feel
children
should focus on schoolwork because
children
's period is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
time
Add the particle
to time
show examples
to develop skills in
school
systems.
For example
,
School
homework
maybe designs
children
to learn together art skills by drawing fruits or vegetables that
people
can eat.
Accordingly
, They said
this
homework
can have the knowledge and gain more skills altogether.
On the other hand
, Some
people
feel learning from playing in their free
time
and learning from
homework
are different. Because of when learning as
school
homework
,
Children
was forced by teachers and families. It does not depend on
children
's desires.
Moreover
, It has a rule punish if
children
do not do
homework
.
Moreover
, Research from some universities identified that the
children
are happy to learn when they feel learn by playing from their desire.
For example
,
Children
who are interested in painting prefer to learn in their free
time
more than
children
who were forced to paint by the teacher as
school
homework
. In conclusion,
Children
should spend more than free
time
on their desire "what is my interested for practice
this
skill" and "when a suitable
time
for practice
this
skill"
Submitted by first.kantapat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unstructured free time
  • creativity
  • mental health development
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • sports
  • arts
  • social skills
  • family time
  • emotional growth
  • relationship building
  • rest and leisure
  • academic performance
  • burnout
What to do next:
Look at other essays: