IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
Animal testing for scientific reasons is still very common today. For some
people
, the harm to
animals
 does not justify the experimentation. Others see it as necessary. I think that
this
 is a very difficult situation but that there are some alternatives. It is normal for new medicines to be tested on
animals
.
In other words
, We experimentate so that we know that the medicine is safe before it is used on humans.
As a result
, I believe that in
this
 case experimenting is justified as without it many medicines would not exist today.
However
, there are others who argue that in
this
 case it even is not justified and that
people
 are very different to
animals
 so the tests are not useful. Another type of testing is for cosmetics. Because lots of beauty
products
 are still tested on
animals
. I think that
this
 is not just and we do not need to make
animals
 suffer like
this
.
Furthermore
, there are lots of companies that don’t experiment on
animals
 and still make similar
products
. There are some alternatives to testing
products
 on
animals
. Some scientists develop new ways
for example
 using cells. Many
people
 argue that these ways are good but that there is no animal cruelty. in conclusion, I would argue that animal testing for medicinal purposes could be accepted if there is no alternative. The medicine may save lots of
people
 from dying. Animal testing for beauty
products
 is not acceptable and we should have new ways of test.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
Your essay shows an attempt at addressing the question, but at times, is simplistic and lacks depth in the response. It would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the subject matters and a presentation of more nuanced arguments. Ensure that your essay provides a clear and complete response to all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a basic structure in your essay. However, the logical progression of ideas can be improved by using more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases. Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful by clearly presenting the essay's main argument and summarizing the key points effectively. Aim for a clear organizational pattern that enhances the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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