IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generation. some people say this have had a negative effect on their health.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries today, the eating
habits
Use synonyms
 and
lifestyles
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 are different from those of the previous generation. some people say
this
Linking Words
 has had a negative effect on their health. In the following paragraph, I will explain the reason that I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand, In point of the eating
habits
Use synonyms
 and
lifestyles
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 that are different from the past, I think people need to realize that the world societies are becoming capitalist.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, All parents must divide
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 time to raise
children
Use synonyms
 and work
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 earn a living. I truly accept that some parents
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 enough to spend time and money to find
a quality food
Remove the article
quality food
a portion of quality food
show examples
 for their
children
Use synonyms
, especially in developing countries where the proportion of the population is poor.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
This
Linking Words
 factor can affect to
habits
Use synonyms
 and
lifestyles
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 worse than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, If a child was born
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a rich family, a lucky child can have a quality of life different from others. he/she will eat clean food with more nutrients and live in
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
 that all members take care of. In
this
Linking Words
 case, a child will have suitable food and
lifestyles
Use synonyms
 that are better than the previous generation. In conclusion, It can be summarized that in many countries, the eating
habits
Use synonyms
 and
lifestyles
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 are different of the grandparent's generation.
However
Linking Words
, It depends on luckily in
children
Use synonyms
 whether they stay in
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 family or not.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Home-cooked meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Obesity rates
  • Childhood diabetes
  • Physical activity
  • Processed foods
  • Convenience foods
  • Unhealthy snacks
  • Outdoor play
  • Mental health implications
  • Time constraints
  • Preservatives and additives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: