IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
On one hand, The
internet
 allows for easier communication with loved ones regardless of location.
Moreover
, as many accept jobs in different parts of the world, the loss of family
contact
 is eliminated due to social media applications and video calling.
For instance
,while I now live in the Uk and the rest of my family are in China, I am still in constant
contact
 with those whom I love dearly via social media tools which
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 had a significant impact on me.
Therefore
, it is evident that the
internet
 has removed the daunting task of maintaining relations when living away from family and friends.
On the other hand
,
as a result
 of overuse of the
internet
, many have become rather antisocial demonstrating a propensity to depend strictly on their devices to make
contact
.
Furthermore
, the lack of physical
contact
 has created a major divide among young people
in particular
 who prefer online virtual relations to personal ones. To illustrate, A recent Harvard
university
Change the capitalization
University
show examples
 study revealed that 62% of teenagers in New York spend their time virtually engaging in relationships
instead
 of meeting their friends or partners in real life.
Thus
, It is apparent that the effects of the
internet
 are dangerous and might cause one to become depressed as people opt for /choose a lonely life
instead
. In closing, there are clearly pluses and minuses to the
internet
.
Nevertheless
, I maintain that we can all reap the benefits of the
internet
 if we use it well,
although
this
 might not always be realistic. If teenagers used the
internet
 for its benefits, they would remove all potential drawbacks.
Submitted by benjamincj on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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