Many people today put personal information online for the needs of daily lives (e.g., shopping, banking, and social network). Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #information #lives #e #g #network #development

Humankind is

incredibily

Correct your spelling

incredibly

dependent on the internet for numerous things.

People

seldom key in their personal data on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online websites for their convenience. Usually, when

one

puts their information for the

first

time, there is a pop up to save credit card

details

or when on a social media site,

one

tends to save the birthdate or a cell number, which is over and above the purpose. From my perspective, we should not brazenly make our

details

available, I will

further

support my arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is a rampant increase in the number of hackers disrupting our privacy.

In other words

, by phishing, hackers are withdrawing cash,

transferring

Correct word choice

and transferring

show examples

money.

For instance

Add an article

the cyber

show examples

cyber

Correct your spelling

cybercriminal

show examples

criminal

Fix the agreement mistake

criminals

show examples

may deceive

people

use

Correct article usage

the use

show examples

of malicious software and empty their bank balance.

Although

saving credit card

details

on the mobile makes the transaction faster, the big picture look of falling prey to wrongdoings by hackers feels scary.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, if

people

have

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

pins or

password

Fix the agreement mistake

passwords

show examples

for various bank accounts

then

it will be a

Correct your spelling

cakewalk

show examples

cake walk

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cakewalk

show examples

for carrying out illegal activities. Apart from that,

one

may clone social media account like

twitter

Change the capitalization

Twitter

show examples

Correct your spelling

and

propogate

Correct your spelling

propagate

fallacious messages, and

one

may get under

radar

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the radar

show examples

text

Add an article

the text

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is pertaining to politics or

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

show examples

economy.

On the other hand

, when

one

overwhlem

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overwhelm

overwhelms

online sites with

execessive

Correct your spelling

excessive

details

one

will have

ghost

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a ghost

show examples

following. To elaborate on

this

one

may stalk a person on sites like

facebook

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Facebook

show examples

and know their whereabouts and eventually follow you advertently to commit some hideous crimes,

such

as stealing or kidnapping or even rape.

Besides

this

one

will be an open book to the world if they exhibit their social life on

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

, and

in person

Add a hyphen

in-person

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when

people

meet each other they may not have any conversation topics as they already know

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

Consequently

virtual

Correct article usage

the virtual

show examples

world would be more intriguing rather than the actual life. To summarise, as

cyber crime

Correct your spelling

cybercrime

show examples

widespreading

Correct your spelling

widespread

resulting in various frauds,

one

should avoid disclosing information to various sites to minimise any

mischap

Correct your spelling

mishap

mishaps

moreover

Change preposition

apply

show examples

conversing and

unraveling

Change the spelling

unravelling

show examples

stories with friends is more enthralling compared to putting everything online.

Submitted by vaidyadevika1 on Wed Jun 01 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people today put personal information online for the needs of daily lives (e.g., shopping, banking, and social network). Is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.