Many people today put personal information online for the needs of daily lives (e.g., shopping, banking, and social network). Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #information #lives #e #g #network #development

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Humankind is

incredibily

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incredibly

dependent on the internet for numerous things.

People

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seldom key in their personal data on

the

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apply

show examples

online websites for their convenience. Usually, when

one

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puts their information for the

first

Linking Words

time, there is a pop up to save credit card

details

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or when on a social media site,

one

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tends to save the birthdate or a cell number, which is over and above the purpose. From my perspective, we should not brazenly make our

details

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available, I will

further

Linking Words

support my arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is a rampant increase in the number of hackers disrupting our privacy.

In other words

Linking Words

, by phishing, hackers are withdrawing cash,

transferring

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and transferring

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money.

For instance

Linking Words

Add an article

the cyber

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cyber

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cybercriminal

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criminal

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criminals

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may deceive

people

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use

Correct article usage

the use

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of malicious software and empty their bank balance.

Although

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saving credit card

details

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on the mobile makes the transaction faster, the big picture look of falling prey to wrongdoings by hackers feels scary.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

, if

people

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have

same

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the same

show examples

pins or

password

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passwords

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for various bank accounts

then

Linking Words

it will be a

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cakewalk

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cake walk

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cakewalk

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for carrying out illegal activities. Apart from that,

one

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may clone social media account like

twitter

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Twitter

show examples

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and

propogate

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propagate

fallacious messages, and

one

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may get under

radar

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the radar

show examples

text

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the text

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is pertaining to politics or

countries

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countries'

country's

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economy.

On the other hand

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, when

one

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overwhlem

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overwhelm

overwhelms

online sites with

execessive

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excessive

details

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one

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will have

ghost

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a ghost

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following. To elaborate on

this

Linking Words

one

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may stalk a person on sites like

facebook

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Facebook

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and know their whereabouts and eventually follow you advertently to commit some hideous crimes,

such

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as stealing or kidnapping or even rape.

Besides

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this

Linking Words

one

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will be an open book to the world if they exhibit their social life on

instagram

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Instagram

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, and

in person

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in-person

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when

people

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meet each other they may not have any conversation topics as they already know

everthing

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everything

Consequently

Linking Words

virtual

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the virtual

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world would be more intriguing rather than the actual life. To summarise, as

cyber crime

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cybercrime

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widespreading

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widespread

resulting in various frauds,

one

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should avoid disclosing information to various sites to minimise any

mischap

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mishap

mishaps

moreover

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

conversing and

unraveling

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unravelling

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stories with friends is more enthralling compared to putting everything online.

Submitted by vaidyadevika1 on Wed Jun 01 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Many people today put personal information online for the needs of daily lives (e.g., shopping, banking, and social network). Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that school students should be separated based on their abilities and talented, while others think that all students should study together. Discuss both views and express your opinion.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative developmen

Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background . To what extent do you agree or disagree.

More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion