IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Happiness is often considered difficult to define. Why is this? What factors determine happiness?Write 250 words.

#happiness #factors
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely considered that
happiness
Use synonyms
 is hard to describe because it varies for each person. There are some factors that determine
happiness
Use synonyms
, with some being wealth, accomplishments, and relationships with
people
Use synonyms
. Regarding the reasons, I do believe each individual has a different perspective in defining their sense of fulfilment. That means with different goals there will be different definitions of
happiness
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 want to be rich, so their
happiness
Use synonyms
 will come from having lots of
money
Use synonyms
. While others like being with
people
Use synonyms
, their
happiness
Use synonyms
 will come from spending time with their
friends
Use synonyms
 and family. That’s why
happiness
Use synonyms
 is hard to define. Focusing on the factors that affect
happiness
Use synonyms
, there are many, but the most apparent ones are a sense of accomplishment, relationships with
people
Use synonyms
, and
money
Use synonyms
.
Money
Use synonyms
 plays a very important part in modern society,
people
Use synonyms
 with no
money
Use synonyms
 are usually sad because of the bad living condition and discrimination. Relationship with
friends
Use synonyms
 and family
also
Linking Words
 affects the way
people
Use synonyms
 perceive
happiness
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 with few
friends
Use synonyms
 and distance from them will want to have more and closer
friends
Use synonyms
. Achieving goals in life can make
people
Use synonyms
 feel prouder and happier, like being a millionaire, getting married, travelling, and more personal goals. To conclude,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is often considered difficult to define because of the varying opinions that
people
Use synonyms
 have, some may feel one way but others will feel the other way.
Although
Linking Words
 the definition of
happiness
Use synonyms
 varies for each person, I believe that life accomplishments, wealth, and relationships with others are the factors that matter the most.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • complex
  • embrace
  • vary
  • definition
  • material possessions
  • achievements
  • personal values
  • relationships
  • self-fulfillment
  • psychological
  • physiological
  • genetics
  • predispositions
  • cultural
  • societal
  • perception
  • pursuit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: