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Writing Samples
Band 6

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

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Over the
last
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 few ,decades the crime rate has gradually increased across the globe.Even though there are various
prison
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 systems which are being used to reform the
criminals
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 but
this
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 was not implemented strictly.Due to these ineffective
prison
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 reforms,activities the
criminals
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 are again committing some serious crimes . I will be discussing the problems in brief.
Firstly
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, there are no proper laws to be imposed on
criminals
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 as part of their punishment. One of the reasons could be officials are failed to control and act strictly on the
criminals
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.
In addition
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 to
this
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 criminal who has more power and money are able to receive special treatment from jail officers. To add to
this
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 there is no proper system which tracks the progress of reforming the activity of individual
criminals
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. I believe the solution to
this
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 problem is to cleanse the entire law and sections of the
prison
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 system. The government should bring
such
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 new laws that even a criminal could not think of committing any new crime. All the access to the outside world could be cut completely. The government should conduct some personality development classes and make them understand the serious consequences of their crime. To conclude, the only best and possible way to reform
criminals
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 is to make them realize their mistakes . ,
Also
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 the
criminals
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 should understand how to make their life better again by doing the good things. Along with
this
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 government should implement strict rules on the
prison
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 systems and track their progress frequently,
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Finally
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,Finally
show examples
 the
prison
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 system should bring new hope into
criminals
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' life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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