IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many modern films and television programmes about past event and people contain a mixture of fact and fiction. Some people say this distorts the public's view of history and should therefore be discouraged. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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There is a popular opinion that many
movies
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 and series based on historical
events
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 do not contain the whole truth and are actually a mix of facts and fiction. Some people think that
this
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 can distort our perception of history, and
therefore
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 their production should be discouraged.
While
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this
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 is true and these motion pictures are fiction, I disagree with the statement. As I would argue, the purpose of these films is entertainment, and not educational.   As many modern films are inspired by historical
events
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 they try to tell their story as entertaining as they can. In
this
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 ,way they are more fiction than fact. Relationships, action and drama are added to keep the viewers involved in the story and create a connection between them and the characters. Generally, people need
this
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 sort of entertainment to distract themselves from the stress and problems of their existence.
This
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 is the reason why
movies
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 in general have a positive effect on our lives. I can
also
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 add that
while
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, yes, watching historical
movies
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 is not like reading an actual book about the subject, it can easily involve people on the topic. Every movie ever made about a true event starts with a disclaimer that it is “based”, or “inspired”, by a historical event, so it would not confuse the audience. From my personal point of view, these types of
movies
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 have led me to read more about
events
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 that were of no interest to me before. Given these points, I think that
movies
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 inspired by true
events
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 have greater popularity among the public and can easily provoke interest and even help education.

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What works well

3
introduction and conclusion

The introduction clearly states the topic and your position, providing a strong start to the essay.

task achievement

You effectively argue that historical films are mainly for entertainment, which is a relevant and clear idea.

task achievement

The essay includes a thoughtful personal perspective, which adds depth to the discussion.

Improvement Suggestions

2
task achievement

To improve task response, consider providing more specific examples from modern films or television programs to support your argument. This helps to strengthen your position and provides evidence for your claims.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your paragraphs more clearly by ensuring that each paragraph addresses one main point. This can enhance the logical structure and make the essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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