Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child's education?

It is widely believed that parental
encouragement
of
children
's performance can
result
in positive reinforcement.
Likewise
, zero
encouragement
or extreme parental stress might
result
in reduced school performance.
This
essay will look at both sides of the scenario to reach an effective conclusion.
Firstly
, there have been many studies on how positive
encouragement
can
result
in increased performance by
children
.
Secondly
, any criticism from parents should always be constructive rather than destructive.
For example
,
children
can be rewarded for high performances, whether it
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be academic or sporting success.
This
positive feedback will ensure sustained effort by the child to maintain or improve in these respective fields.
Conversely
, zero
encouragement
or extremely destructive criticism will
result
in negative feedback. The child may lose interest in their academic pursuit.
This
can
result
in severe mental trauma, lack of interest and severe burnout.
Additionally
, there have been reports of
children
suffering from anxiety
as a
result
of increased parental pressure. These mental issues sustained at an early age may even persist into adulthood.
Furthermore
, Traumatised individuals require ongoing
psychologist
Replace the word
psychological
show examples
support to overcome these childhood issues. As with all problems, a balanced approach is probably the best solution. Positive
encouragement
is essential for
children
,
however
, too little or too much can
result
in negative outcomes. Schools can arrange parent-teacher meetings where doctors can be invited to take classes on the importance of good parenting.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that parents should exercise moderation and strive for the middle ground in
this
scenario.
Submitted by naveengeorge95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, try to elaborate more on the reasons why some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school. Providing specific examples and citing studies can strengthen your argument.
task response
Ensure that your main points are fully supported to strengthen your argument. While you have introduced the idea of positive and negative reinforcement, more detailed explanations and specific examples would make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using repetitive phrases such as "Conversely, zero encouragement or extremely destructive criticism will…". Diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures can enhance the overall fluency of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly outlines the issues surrounding parental encouragement and pressure, leading the reader into the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with paragraphs divided into clear sections addressing different aspects of the issue.
task response
Your balanced conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and suggests a reasonable solution.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: