Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child's education?

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It is widely believed that parental

encouragement

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children

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's performance can

result

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in positive reinforcement.

Likewise

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, zero

encouragement

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or extreme parental stress might

result

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in reduced school performance.

This

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essay will look at both sides of the scenario to reach an effective conclusion.

Firstly

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, there have been many studies on how positive

encouragement

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can

result

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in increased performance by

children

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Secondly

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, any criticism from parents should always be constructive rather than destructive.

For example

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children

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can be rewarded for high performances, whether it

may

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apply

show examples

be academic or sporting success.

This

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positive feedback will ensure sustained effort by the child to maintain or improve in these respective fields.

Conversely

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, zero

encouragement

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or extremely destructive criticism will

result

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in negative feedback. The child may lose interest in their academic pursuit.

This

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can

result

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in severe mental trauma, lack of interest and severe burnout.

Additionally

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, there have been reports of

children

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suffering from anxiety

as a

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result

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of increased parental pressure. These mental issues sustained at an early age may even persist into adulthood.

Furthermore

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, Traumatised individuals require ongoing

psychologist

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psychological

show examples

support to overcome these childhood issues. As with all problems, a balanced approach is probably the best solution. Positive

encouragement

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is essential for

children

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however

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, too little or too much can

result

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in negative outcomes. Schools can arrange parent-teacher meetings where doctors can be invited to take classes on the importance of good parenting.

To conclude

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, I am of the opinion that parents should exercise moderation and strive for the middle ground in

this

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scenario.

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task response

Your essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, try to elaborate more on the reasons why some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school. Providing specific examples and citing studies can strengthen your argument.

task response

Ensure that your main points are fully supported to strengthen your argument. While you have introduced the idea of positive and negative reinforcement, more detailed explanations and specific examples would make your points more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Avoid using repetitive phrases such as "Conversely, zero encouragement or extremely destructive criticism will…". Diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures can enhance the overall fluency of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction succinctly outlines the issues surrounding parental encouragement and pressure, leading the reader into the essay effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with paragraphs divided into clear sections addressing different aspects of the issue.

task response

Your balanced conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and suggests a reasonable solution.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Your opinion

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Nowadays, many people spend more and more time going to work or school. Some people believe that this is a negative development while others believe that it has some benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The illustration below shows the process of tying a bow tie. Write a report explaining to a university lecturer how to tie his bow tie.

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?