‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

#‏in #countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #‏do #be #schools

It is considered that environmental problems are relevant and should be taken more seriously since they have a huge impact on our

lives

However

, most

people

do not take these issues seriously enough. Here are my thoughts on why the majority of

people

do not care about the environment.

Firstly

, the main reason why

people

do not give much thought to environmental issues is probably because it does not affect their daily

lives

yet. Environmental problems

such

as the greenhouse effect, global warming or pollution are always occurring, but because they are not always evident and they do not have direct influences on

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

lives

people

do not take

this issue

Fix the agreement mistake

these issues

show examples

seriously.

For instance

, icebergs are melting which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

sea levels rise and

this

will create extreme weather conditions like storms, hurricanes and typhoons. But since it does not affect us, we do not give it much consideration.

Secondly

people

might think that their contributions make no or no difference.

This

is not true, because contributions no matter how big or small would still have an impact

Change preposition

show examples

improving the environment.

For example

, simple actions

such

as throwing away your garbage, picking up trash, or recycling and reusing

sure

Rephrase

apply

show examples

will help get rid of pollution,

also

helping to spread awareness for

people

around you.

To conclude

, a lot of

people

do not care enough about environmental matters for many reasons,

such

as being too subjective because they do not affect their

lives

yet and thinking their actions would not make a difference.

Submitted by alext620 on Thu Jun 09 2022

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task response

Ensure that all the main points are clearly linked to the topic and fully developed.

coherence and cohesion

Continue to include clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs that summarize the main points of the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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