IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. some people however that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
It is thought by many governments around the world that the
progress
 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
 is the most significant aim. At the same time, some individuals believe that different
types
 of
progress
such
 as health and
education
 are
also
 essential. I believe that both
types
 of
progress
 are equally important for a
country
 to succeed. On the one hand, development in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 is the foremost significant aspect of the
country
 for several reasons.
Firstly
, without a stable economic
condition
Add a comma
,condition
show examples
 a
country
 cannot move forward.
For example
, a
country
 must have an up-to-date infrastructure to amplify its production. If some countries lack
this
 facility, they would not able to gain enough money by selling their products. So, in
this
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
 economic development is essential.
On the other hand
, various
types
 of
progress
 like
education
 and healthcare
also
 carry huge importance. When a nation cannot manage to provide proper
education
 to its population,
Then
 it struggles to achieve prosperity. Illiterate
people
 are unable to contribute
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 societies and countries.
Moreover
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sound health is
equally
Change the article
an equally
show examples
 important thing for a
country
. By staying fit
people
 can give their energy to their work.
This
 will ultimately benefit their economy. So, healthy
people
 and their
education
 are assets to a
country
. In my opinion, while economic progression is a must-have feature of the government, other
progress
 like literacy and health management
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 needed to include in the government’s aim. Only economic
progress
 cannot move the
country
 forward. With the help of educated and healthy
people
, a government can go ahead toward development. To sum up,
although
 there are controversies between the government and its
people
 regarding different
types
 of
progress
, it is worthwhile to consider both financial and educational
progress
 to establish a
country
 as a developed one.
Submitted by RHR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: