IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the experience children have before they go to school will have greater effect on their future life. Others argue that experience gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #children #school #effect #future #life #teenagers #influence
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While certain individuals believe a brighter
future
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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 youngsters is attributed to the practical knowledge they
acquires
Change the verb form
acquire
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 before enrolling
into
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
Use synonyms
, others are of opinion that
experience
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a great effect when
receive
Change the verb form
receiving
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 during adolescence age.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both views and in my own opinion, gaining
experience
Use synonyms
 before academy life is the best. On the one hand, undergoing
experience
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 before attending
school
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 has a better effect on younger ones in their later lives because their brain is still fresh,
hence
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, making
acquisition
Add an article
the acquisition
show examples
 of knowledge to be easy for them.
In addition
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,
this
Linking Words
experience
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 acquired would be useful to them in tackling any challenges that
comes
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come
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 their way when they later
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in
school
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.
For instance
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, a child that has been playing games that require critical thinking will find it easy to deal with some
subject
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subjects
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such
Linking Words
 as mathematics in
school
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a greater influence
towards
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on
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 achieving a successful life in the
future
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 when
receive
Change the verb form
receiving
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 experiences during adolescence age.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 the individual is now getting mature and will be able to
differenciate
Correct your spelling
differentiate
 to some extent between bad and good
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
.
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, the knowledge or skill gained will be put into practice immediately to achieve their goals.
For example
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, an individual that has
undergo
Change the form of the verb
undergone
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 an argumentative presentation when in
school
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 will be able to defend a project excellently when he/she
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 working. As far as I'm concerned, I believe
Use synonyms
experience
Correct article usage
the experience
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 a child
receive
Correct subject-verb agreement
receives
show examples
 before
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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 schooling will help to broaden
a
Remove the article
apply
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their horizon, they will be able to build on it when they grow up and
this
Linking Words
 will lead to a better
future
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. In conclusion, while some people believe
experience
Use synonyms
 receive during teenager has
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
 influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 success in
future
Use synonyms
 , I'm in support
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those that opined to gain it before attending
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
 institution.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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