IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be benefited teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time
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Education is a vital key factor in our life. In
this
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 contemporary world , students have attempted to give more priority to science and technological subjects for their future betterment. Even though some group of people showed that voluntary job should be required to do all youngsters in their free period.
Also
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, they have emphasized ,
it
Correct word choice
that it
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 would be
Add an article
a benefit
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benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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for
Change preposition
to
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 children and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in a better way. I completely agree with the above statement and in
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, wherever the unpaid work has assisted to improve good qualities, personal skills and responsibilities which children want to do for others in their lifetime.
For example
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 , in India, students who have worked as
a socialists
Correct the article-noun agreement
a socialist
socialists
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, have a great reputation among other
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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 and are eligible to acquire job opportunities in reputed organizations rather than others.
As a result
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, the public task should want to set as
a
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an
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 essential subject to learn social skills, wherever they would be able to achieve their dreams and targets
with
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in
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 a responsible manner.
Furthermore
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, social activities have advantages to
the
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apply
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society because the commitment of socialists
have
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has
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 ensured to give hard work and cooperation to mitigate the social issues .
For instance
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, youths who had learned about community issues
such
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 as crimes and other brutal incidents in their school environment
,
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apply
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 were able to raise their voice to give assistance to other people.
Consequently
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, it would create a fruitful and
a strong personalities
Correct the article-noun agreement
strong personalities
a strong personality
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 for our country . In conclusion,
in
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from
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 my perspective, I believe that wherever voluntary work
have
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has
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 valuable results for youngsters as well as for the public. If we try to give importance to the unpaid community tasks, we will have a chance to acquire knowledge and benefits.
Submitted by skrodrigo030 on

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