IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Technology has enabled the mass production of goods with the use of machines. Discuss the merits and demerits of mechanized producti

The mass manufacturing field is significantly impacted by new
technologies
Use synonyms
.
Although
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 there are positive sides of the automated industry , like more rapid production of goods , drawbacks include risks of processing in the incorrect order and the lack of quality.
This
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 essay will examine both positive and negative sides of
this
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 trend before providing my own opinion. On the one hand ,
technologies
Use synonyms
 provide huge benefits for corporations.
For instance
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, by using automated machines ,robots and other tools , the quantity of products will rise significantly ,as they can help to do multiple tasks faster at the same time .
Moreover
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 , directors who own businesses could see many benefits in the use of technological devices. Some entrepreneurs believe that it could be cheaper than hiring classified professionals , so they would rather invest in emerging electronic components and automated factories than look for a huge number of responsible and highly skilled specialists.
On the other hand
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, trusting
technologies
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 completely has its own risks.
For example
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, computers or robots which significantly depend on electricity and the Internet can lose
a
Correct article usage
apply
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track of order or stop working completely if there is a shutdown. That can cause a huge delay and poor-quality products. From my own perspective, it is necessary important to find a balance in both mechanised and human-based production.
While
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 using new machinery can accelerate the mass manufacturing and quantity , people still have to monitor the whole process in order to prevent any negative outcomes. In conclusion ,
technologies
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 can significantly shape the production industry if people
will
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apply
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consider controlling and watching over the process

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structure
Add a clear plan at the start and make your view clear in the intro. Each paragraph should link to the task and your view.
content
Give more real and clear examples to back each point. Explain how these examples show the idea.
language
Fix mistakes in grammar and spelling; check commas and spaces. Use simple, steady grammar.
conclusion
Make the conclusion strong by restating your view and summarising the main points.
content
The essay uses a two side view of the topic and gives a sentence for opinion.
coherence
Short linking words like on the one hand and on the other hand connect ideas.
structure
There is a basic structure with three parts: intro, body, conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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