Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children

It is obvious that

violence

in playgrounds is more common and common.

However

, it is crucial that

parents

should teach students or adolescents not to hit back at bullies. But others teach them to do that they can protect themselves. In my view, both the ways have a bit true. To commence with,

parents

have a responsibility to teach

children

to ensure safety when they have encountered troubles. In case of being bullied, they should not fight back against bullies to protect themselves. If they face problems, they should find someone whom they are trusted

such

as a teacher or an adult rather than solved them

Change preposition

with

show examples

violence

Additionally

, it is important that

parents

should teach their

children

not to promote

violence

. They maintain that

this

way led to deter bullies from fighting.

On the other hand

, teaching youngsters to fight back leads to the harm than good and it can cause negative behaviours. In some ,case it cannot be solved by

violence

and it may be more serious and make itself terribly.

Thus

parents

said that they ought to reflex to save themselves.

Moreover

children

will be more naughty because their behaviours have changed. They might be injured or affect other things. In conclusion, I believe that

parents

should teach their

children

about the pros and cons of hitting back at bullies.

Submitted by eiphyo2021 on Tue Jun 14 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think a crime should always have a fixed punishment like life for murder, while others believe you should take the circumstances of the crime into account. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.