In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

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In recent years, the prevalence of long working

hours

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has become increasingly common in some countries.

This

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trend can be attributed to a combination of economic pressures and heightened job demands. I contend that the proliferation of extended

work

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hours

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carries more detrimental implications than advantages. First of all, there are two main reasons why people have to spend more time at

work

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. One important factor is that the higher living costs, especially in large metropolises force adults to

work

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longer

hours

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to meet their financial obligations and support their families.

For example

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, working parents often struggle with the education fees of their children and the costs of accommodation, food, and healthcare services, which make them

work

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extra

hours

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to earn money. Another reason is that in today's competitive market, companies always compete against their opponents to attract more customers, which requires their employees to

work

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beyond the standard eight

hours

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a day, especially during peak reasons.

As a result

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, people have to sacrifice private time and stay at their offices to accomplish their assigned tasks.

Although

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working longer

hours

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can help people earn a great deal of money and improve their

overall

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well-being, I strongly believe that the detrimental consequences of prolonged

work

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hours

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should not be underestimated. First and foremost is the toll on one's physical and mental health. Research has consistently shown that excessive

work

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hours

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are associated with heightened stress levels, sleep deprivation, and various stress-related ailments. The human body and mind require adequate rest and relaxation to function optimally, and extended

work

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hours

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erode

this

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essential balance. Another concern is that it is hard for parents to take care of and supervise their children when working throughout the day.

This

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could increase the likelihood of juvenile crime

due to

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the lack of parental involvement. In conclusion, it seems to me that the increase in living costs and amount of workload have a great contribution to extending the working

hours

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of most employees nowadays. I argue that

this

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phenomenon could bring about more devastating consequences on the health and family of each person.

truongtumy0108Tue Dec 26 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay provided a structured response to the task. However, there's room for better organizing the introduction and conclusion to clearly state your position and summarize the main points.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples or data to reinforce your argument. This adds validity to your points and engages the reader.

Task Achievement

Ensure all parts of the task are fully addressed. Expand on the reasons behind the changes in work hours and explore both the positive and negative developments in more detail.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive analysis. While your essay touches on the reasons people work long hours and its negative impact, deeper exploration of the subject could enhance the response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevalent
economic pressures
financial stability
competitive job markets
corporate cultures
stigma
demonstrate dedication
advent of technology
blurred the lines
accelerated career progression
dedicated employee
significant negative implications
stress levels
mental health
physical health
social and family time
productivity
burnout
flexible working hours
work-life balance

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In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Most artist earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today,more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places?

In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?