In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?
In recent years, the prevalence of long working
hours
has become increasingly common in some countries. This
trend can be attributed to a combination of economic pressures and heightened job demands. I contend that the proliferation of extended work
hours
carries more detrimental implications than advantages.
First of all, there are two main reasons why people have to spend more time at work
. One important factor is that the higher living costs, especially in large metropolises force adults to work
longer hours
to meet their financial obligations and support their families. For example
, working parents often struggle with the education fees of their children and the costs of accommodation, food, and healthcare services, which make them work
extra hours
to earn money. Another reason is that in today's competitive market, companies always compete against their opponents to attract more customers, which requires their employees to work
beyond the standard eight hours
a day, especially during peak reasons. As a result
, people have to sacrifice private time and stay at their offices to accomplish their assigned tasks.
Although
working longer hours
can help people earn a great deal of money and improve their overall
well-being, I strongly believe that the detrimental consequences of prolonged work
hours
should not be underestimated. First and foremost is the toll on one's physical and mental health. Research has consistently shown that excessive work
hours
are associated with heightened stress levels, sleep deprivation, and various stress-related ailments. The human body and mind require adequate rest and relaxation to function optimally, and extended work
hours
erode this
essential balance. Another concern is that it is hard for parents to take care of and supervise their children when working throughout the day. This
could increase the likelihood of juvenile crime due to
the lack of parental involvement.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the increase in living costs and amount of workload have a great contribution to extending the working hours
of most employees nowadays. I argue that this
phenomenon could bring about more devastating consequences on the health and family of each person.Submitted by truongtumy0108 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provided a structured response to the task. However, there's room for better organizing the introduction and conclusion to clearly state your position and summarize the main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples or data to reinforce your argument. This adds validity to your points and engages the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully addressed. Expand on the reasons behind the changes in work hours and explore both the positive and negative developments in more detail.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive analysis. While your essay touches on the reasons people work long hours and its negative impact, deeper exploration of the subject could enhance the response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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