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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People have different views about whether the youth should be allowed to decide the matters of their daily lives. While I accepted that there is a potential risk of developing self-centred behaviours, I personally believe that there are more benefits for
children
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 to learn to make their own choices. On the one hand, many
parents
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 point to the argument that free choice can easily foster a self-centred mindset in young people. They stress that temptation is ubiquitous everywhere in advertising and social media
,
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 and that
children
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 might not be mature to resist the temptation to buy fancy gadgets and unhealthy foods.
For example
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, without guidance, they may develop a habit of rushing to update cutting-edge gadgets without considering the damage to the environment.
Therefore
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, it is said that the daily affairs of teenagers should be decided by their
parents
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 to prevent selfish behaviour from becoming a habit.
On the other hand
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, some educators believe that there are several benefits to
children
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 making their own choices, and I agree.
First
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, childhood is a critical stage in the development of rational choice.
This
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 is a critical time for
children
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 to learn to think with a broader perspective and to consider others in their daily affairs. The
second
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 benefit is that a relationship of trust can be built between
parents
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 and
children
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, as a child will feel supported by the parent
for example
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. In conclusion, I am convinced that
children
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 should be encouraged to learn
to
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how to make rational choices on their own. With guidance from their
parents
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 and teachers, I believe it is more likely to lead a society of individuals with critical thinking.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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