IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that one world government is better than national governments. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #government #governments
Some individuals reckon that single
planet
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 is better than country
Correct your spelling
governments
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
.
This
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 statement and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of
world
Correct article usage
a world
show examples
 united
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 are the unification of
humanity
 and
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 absence of any war conflicts.
Firstly
, the
manace
Correct your spelling
menace
 of nuclear war and
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 of whole
humanity
 because of
this
 would disappear. If
one
 united
government
 appears, it will bring peace around the
world
. Because
humanity
 would be united,
hence
government
 would decide any problems that may appear.
For
instance
, in
sci-fi
Correct article usage
a sci-fi
show examples
 book by Stephen King, he described the situation where the earth had
one
 stable
government
 and it thrived without any economical and social problems.
Secondly
,
unification
Correct article usage
the unification
show examples
 of
humanity
 is an incredible benefit for a
planet
. All social, economical,
environmental
Correct word choice
and environmental
show examples
 problems that currently are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth can be decided, because
humanity
 is
unificated
Correct your spelling
unified
unification
.
For
instance
, in 2007 because of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of some special minerals,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 hole in
Correct your spelling
ozone
Ozon
ozon
Correct article usage
the ozon
show examples
 layer appeared.
This
 could
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 disaster,
however
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide summit
humanity
 solved
this
 problem.
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
 anything can be solved. At the same time, the
world
government
 has disadvantages too,
such
 as
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
show examples
 of
unique
Add an article
a unique
the unique
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 in every country and
inequality
 among people.
Presumably
Add a comma
,Presumably
show examples
one
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 will stick to
one
 culture and
relegion
Correct your spelling
religion
. That may cause the deterioration of
uniqueness
Correct article usage
the uniqueness
show examples
 of every nationality
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
planet
Add an article
the planet
show examples
.
For
instance
 , according to
Star
Correct article usage
the Star
show examples
 Wars
series
Add a comma
,series
show examples
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not any special cultures
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
planet
, all the same people.
Moreover
,
inequality
 will appear
defenetily
Correct your spelling
definitely
.
For
instance
, according to Steve
Devis
Add a comma
,Devis
show examples
 if the
one
planet
government
 showed up in the future, that would cause massive
inequality
 and destruction. To conclude,
although
 the
world
 united
government
 has negative certain effects like
inequality
 and deterioration of cultures, it has an extremely good
influences
Correct the article-noun agreement
influence
show examples
 on the life of human beings like
inification
Correct your spelling
unification
minification
 of
humanity
 and lack of war conflicts. To my way of thinking,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 outweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
Submitted by cit2005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: