IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#business #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Lately, companies usually try to prove to their customers that their
products
Use synonyms
 are not something we are unfamiliar with in order to make people curious about them. Personally, I think it is a drawback in the business field. ​Companies nowadays put most of their efforts
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 advertising than in their manufacturing processes. Putting more investment in the advertisements is not wrong but adding false
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about their
products
Use synonyms
 is an unacceptable manner which is called scamming. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time goes on, scamming people becomes normal in our daily lives which obviously is not a good thing. Sometimes, the problem got out of hand and became a crime and the only victims who had to suffer were the normal people. ​Almost every new
ideas
Fix the agreement mistake
idea
show examples
 are inspired by the previous successful or failed ones.
However
Linking Words
, the companies try to seek out our curiosity by convincing us that their product is the
Linking Words
first ever
Add a hyphen
first-ever
show examples
 invention which can improve our daily lives or shorten the time used on house chores. We can simply be seduced to buy their
products
Use synonyms
 without us even noticing. There are times when we have paid the product with a good amount of money but when we start using it, it is just one of those daily
products
Use synonyms
 we are already familiar with. ​As the method of advertising becomes more advanced, the amount of negative consequences we have to deal with becomes greater. Like I said scamming becomes so spread out and the times when we didn’t even notice that we got seduced to buy a normal product are countless. So, I doubtlessly can say that
this
Linking Words
 kind of development has no good intentions but only bad impacts on us. ​
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: