IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Even when poor countries get help from rich countries, hunger is still an issue. Discuss probable causes and solutions. support your answer with specific reason and example.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern epoch, all nations are growing rapidly.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nations are still facing challenges in providing proper food for their citizens. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 argue the reasons and their solutions for the same trend in the forthcoming paragraphs with proper examples. On the one hand, the foremost problem in front of the citizens is that there are a huge population and fewer job opportunities. To elaborate, the nations in which the number of individuals is huge and work is less, they
all are
Correct word order
are all
show examples
 unable to maintain their families.
In contrast
Linking Words
, many other countries are
also
Linking Words
 providing funds for their livelihood
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not sufficient.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Health
Organization
Change the spelling
Organisation
show examples
 revealed that just because
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
deficiency
Correct article usage
a deficiency
show examples
 in nutrition
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 are weaker
as
Change preposition
than
show examples
 compared
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other countries.
Hence
Linking Words
, the same funds are not sufficient.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we talk about the solutions to the same trends,
then
Linking Words
 the government should impose strict restrictions on their citizens not only for birth control, but
also
Linking Words
 so they do not waste their food.
As well as
Linking Words
 more and more authorities
provide
Wrong verb form
are providing
show examples
 much more work for youngsters. To cite an example, if the maximum proportion of the nation
will do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
 their
job
Punctuation problem
job,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they can easily arrange healthy food for their loved ones.
Thus
Linking Words
, the government should release maximum work for people so that the economy
would
Verb problem
can
show examples
 boost easily.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I would restate my
vista
Check wording
view
show examples
, by imposing rules and regulations and by providing more job
opportunities
Punctuation problem
opportunities,
show examples
 every country can be independent and never ask for help from others in future.

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task
Make the answer clear by giving 2 causes of hunger and 2 clear ways to help. Give one real example for each idea. Stick to the topic of hunger.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use simple links like First, Then, Also, But to show flow.
language
Keep words small and short. Use the idea from the topic many times to keep focus.
structure
Intro and conclusion are there.
coherence
Some link words are used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Infrastructure
  • 2. Corruption
  • 3. Logistical challenges
  • 4. Agricultural practices
  • 5. Sustainable farming
  • 6. Environmental factors
  • 7. Climate change
  • 8. Political instability
  • 9. Civil unrest
  • 10. Food shortages
  • 11. Dependency
  • 12. Resource management
  • 13. Distribution networks
  • 14. Crop diversification
  • 15. Disaster preparedness
  • 16. Early warning systems
  • 17. Political stability
  • 18. Peace treaties
  • 19. Family planning
  • 20. Food security
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