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Writing Samples
Band 5

Is it good for children to start using computers fron an early agee and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#children #computers #fron #agee #hours
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Using of the computer from an early age has been the subject of debate in many societies. While there are disadvantages to the utilization of
computers
Use synonyms
, I personally believe that the merit of using advanced gadgets is far more. On the one hand, many commentators are of the view that there are advantages to using a PC. From their point of view , by
this
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 path adolescents can boost their self-esteem and self-confidence. Using computerised
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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every where
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everywhere
show examples
 and every day,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 you can feel
sense
Add an article
a sense
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 of pride in yourself. It is
also
Linking Words
 maintained that
,
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apply
show examples
 you will be increased your knowledge by
usage
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the usage
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 of hi-tech. At the moment,
world
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the world
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 is going to computerisation, So you should
tried
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try
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 your best not to fall behind.
Consequence
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Consequently
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, Using state-of-the-art gadgets help you be up-to-date and have not any concern about
technological
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the technological
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 world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are those who subscribe to the view that spending long-time
use
Wrong verb form
using
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of
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apply
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the latest devices has several drawbacks. They argue that it has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had some health problems by spending long-term
of
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on
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 new devices.
During
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For
show examples
long-time
Correct article usage
a long-time
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 might face
to
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apply
show examples
some aches and
paines
Correct your spelling
pains
 which are irrecoverable in our lives. When you look at the monitor
hours
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for hours
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 and hours, it causes strain on your eyes or backache related
sitting
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to sitting
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 on the chair for long hours. It is
also
Linking Words
 believed that, working extra time to ply
of
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off
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 some devices like as mobile phones, Ipods, laptops or
computers
Use synonyms
 just waste your beneficial time.
However
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, you are learning modern information, but you can spend a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
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 time
on
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apply
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exercising or doing
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homework
homeworks
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homework
. Having some mobility is necessary for
every one
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everyone
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 that
having
Wrong verb form
has
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 able-bodies. In my personal experience,
computers
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 being used by any age
groups
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group
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specially
Replace the word
especially
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at
Change preposition
in
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 adulthood. One significant merit of
usage
Replace the word
using
show examples
 advanced appliances is that you can work with them for daily tasks,
such
Linking Words
 as
order
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ordering
show examples
foods
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food
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, Banking and a lot of house
choirs
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chores
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. Another positive aspect of
computers
Use synonyms
 is that you are being gotten familiar with hi-tech that everyone use
of
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apply
show examples
them more and more during their life and education systems. In conclusion,
althoughhigh
Correct your spelling
although high
 technology might have some disadvantages, I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 are far more.
Submitted by design.graphist on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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