IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that students should be taught international news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

Opinion differs regarding global
news
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 if it is beneficial to be in the schools’
curriculum
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 or
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is a waste worthy schooling time, some controversy.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses both perspectives and why I believe including world
news
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 as a subject in schools is a progressive trend. Some people believe that including universal
news
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 in education is meaningless. They argue that student concentration could be affected by including subjects that are out of the education
curriculum
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because it will lead to wasting school time, which is better to be used in learning science, math, and other crucial topics.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all professional jobs that people need do not require knowledge of global
news
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. Students who want to be politicians or journalists can choose to attend universities to be professionals in that field.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with those who believe that including worldwide
news
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 as a topic in schools
broads
Correct your spelling
broadens
show examples
 students’ horizons. By incorporating global reports into the school
curriculum
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, students will expand their knowledge about other countries, and
as a result
Linking Words
, will improve their communication and
corporation
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cooperation
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 with other nations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nowadays, the universe is a small village
due to
Linking Words
 advancements in technology and communication, which interestingly made the
news
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 and information spread
fastly
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fast
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. Take the pandemic as an example, where international information is essential for students and the community to raise their awareness about the Virus. In conclusion, despite the school time might be affected by incorporating global
news
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 as an extra topic in their
curriculum
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, I believe that including universal information in schools is expanding student knowledge and increasing their awareness.

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Task Achievement
Try to clarify your main ideas and make them more specific. For example, instead of saying 'out of the education curriculum,' clarify what subjects are currently prioritized.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by examples. This will help strengthen your argument and improve coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the transitions between your points. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is a strong approach to the essay topic.
Task Achievement
The essay includes a relevant example with the pandemic, demonstrating the importance of global awareness, which adds depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global perspective
  • world events
  • analyze
  • viewpoints
  • curriculum
  • cross-cultural communication
  • foundational skills
  • misinformation
  • biased views
  • resources
  • trained teachers
  • educational settings
  • critical thinking
  • overloaded curriculum
What to do next:
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