Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its effort on uplifting the less fortunate? discuss both views

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whilst individuals claim that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
continuous
ecnomic
Correct your spelling
economic
growth should be the number one priority for any
country
Use synonyms
, others contend the notion that more
resources
Use synonyms
should be diverted to alleviate the living
coditions
Correct your spelling
conditions
of economically less advantageous residents. It is my contention that both
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
advancement and
development
Use synonyms
of lower tiers of society members should be equally treated by governments, one feeding the other. First and foremost, gross domestic product value is perceived as the salient indicator to determine the success level of a
country
Use synonyms
, a high volume representing a better life welfare.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
is the backbone of a
country
Use synonyms
, literally financing every activity in a
country
Use synonyms
, starting from urban
development
Use synonyms
and infrastructure construction which are the most important facilities that people should have access to.
For instance
Linking Words
, the most potent
countries
Use synonyms
in the world like the US, Japan and Germany sit on the financial
resources
Use synonyms
that are worth trillions of dollars, furnishing them with an unparalleled
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
which makes other
countries
Use synonyms
inferior to them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
establishment
Add an article
the establishment
show examples
of a secular economy is utterly important for
countries
Use synonyms
in order to guarantee their financial freedom by gradually dissipating their dependence on other
countries
Use synonyms
in terms of
resources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as power, agriculture and technology. Wealth is
also
Linking Words
a key factor
to lead
Change preposition
in leading
show examples
a
country
Use synonyms
to success as the investment made into
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
is prone to appreciating in value,
thus
Linking Words
, bringing security to the
Use synonyms
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is possible to see economically well-off
countries
Use synonyms
where the poor class is developing
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a significant rate, posing a formidable threat to the sustainable
development
Use synonyms
of a
country
Use synonyms
. It is important to acknowledge that there are rich
countries
Use synonyms
in the world where a majority of residents have to live under the average with scarce
resources
Use synonyms
which pulls back the
overall
Linking Words
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
development
Use synonyms
indicators bringing a negative image to the
countries
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
Kanada is considered a financially stable
country
Use synonyms
, the number of homeless people
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
sharply rising and
projected
Add a missing verb
is projected
show examples
to hit 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
by the end of 2025.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
balancing
Correct article usage
a balancing
show examples
approach is the key
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will
leverage
Wrong verb form
leveraging
show examples
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
benefits of
countries
Use synonyms
to improve the welfare of
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
class. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
both perspectives have their valid points, finding a balance between economic growth and social welfare is crucial for sustainable
development
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, by adopting a holistic approach that addresses the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
of both
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
and the less fortunate, governments can create a more
reslient
Correct your spelling
resilient
and equitable society for future generations.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider diversifying your linking phrases to enhance cohesion further.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, which can enrich your essay and task achievement score.
General
Review for minor spelling or typographical errors to polish your essay, e.g., 'Kanada' should be 'Canada', 'ecnomic' should be 'economic', etc.
Introduction
Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the discussion by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that outlines your perspective on the importance of balancing economic growth with social welfare.
Structure
You maintain a clear, logical structure throughout your essay, making your arguments easy to follow.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your balanced viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: