Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its effort on uplifting the less fortunate? discuss both views
Whilst individuals claim that
a
continuous Correct article usage
apply
ecnomic
growth should be the number one priority for any Correct your spelling
economic
country
, others contend the notion that more resources
should be diverted to alleviate the living coditions
of economically less advantageous residents. It is my contention that both Correct your spelling
conditions
economical
advancement and Replace the word
economic
development
of lower tiers of society members should be equally treated by governments, one feeding the other.
First and foremost, gross domestic product value is perceived as the salient indicator to determine the success level of a country
, a high volume representing a better life welfare. Furthermore
, economy
is the backbone of a Add an article
the economy
country
, literally financing every activity in a country
, starting from urban development
and infrastructure construction which are the most important facilities that people should have access to. For instance
, the most potent countries
in the world like the US, Japan and Germany sit on the financial resources
that are worth trillions of dollars, furnishing them with an unparalleled privilage
which makes other Correct your spelling
privilege
countries
inferior to them. Moreover
, establishment
of a secular economy is utterly important for Add an article
the establishment
countries
in order to guarantee their financial freedom by gradually dissipating their dependence on other countries
in terms of resources
such
as power, agriculture and technology. Wealth is also
a key factor to lead
a Change preposition
in leading
country
to success as the investment made into economy
is prone to appreciating in value, Add an article
the economy
thus
, bringing security to the countries
.
Fix the agreement mistake
country
On the other hand
, it is possible to see economically well-off countries
where the poor class is developing with
a significant rate, posing a formidable threat to the sustainable Change preposition
at
development
of a country
. It is important to acknowledge that there are rich countries
in the world where a majority of residents have to live under the average with scarce resources
which pulls back the overall
economical
Replace the word
economic
development
indicators bringing a negative image to the countries
. For example
, although
Kanada is considered a financially stable country
, the number of homeless people are
sharply rising and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
projected
to hit 2 Add a missing verb
is projected
millions
by the end of 2025. Change to singular
million
Therefore
, balancing
approach is the key Correct article usage
a balancing
which
will Correct pronoun usage
apply
leverage
Wrong verb form
leveraging
Correct article usage
the economical
economical
benefits of Replace the word
economic
countries
to improve the welfare of lower
class.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the lower
while
both perspectives have their valid points, finding a balance between economic growth and social welfare is crucial for sustainable development
. Nevertheless
, by adopting a holistic approach that addresses the need
of both Fix the agreement mistake
needs
economic
and the less fortunate, governments can create a more Correct article usage
the economic
reslient
and equitable society for future generations.Correct your spelling
resilient
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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider diversifying your linking phrases to enhance cohesion further.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, which can enrich your essay and task achievement score.
General
Review for minor spelling or typographical errors to polish your essay, e.g., 'Kanada' should be 'Canada', 'ecnomic' should be 'economic', etc.
Introduction
Your introduction successfully sets the stage for the discussion by acknowledging both sides of the argument.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement that outlines your perspective on the importance of balancing economic growth with social welfare.
Structure
You maintain a clear, logical structure throughout your essay, making your arguments easy to follow.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your balanced viewpoint.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
