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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#competitiveness #quality #people #societies #individuals #trend
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There is a view that
life
Use synonyms
 is a scene of contestation that has been stated individual must be a winner or be a loser ,so,It will create a space of high tension for people that they need to gain a victory for considering a successful person ,
in addition
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 ,they opine
this
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 belief is essential for motivate society to reach better results ,but others argue with
this
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 idea and allege
this
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 approach is harmful to human-living because It is a source of schism and has distracted the relationship in a public and the sense of team-working will vanish,
similarly
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 ,I agree with the latter statement ,
furthermore
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,there are many facets that are rejecting the previous view,
finally
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, I am going to explore
this
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 statement to find both pros and cons of competition is a potential factor as a creator or a destructive for human.
First
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 of all, looking at
life
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 as a great game for each person is in their hands,
however
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, I'm afraid I have to disagree with it because the self-esteem of humans has dropped by the constant comparison with another person,
such
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 as in a classroom when the teacher has considered students are on the latter of scoring many negative behaviours
such
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 as jealousy, losing the sense of cooperation and engaging in a group as a member who wants to progress a team for reaching their goals will be broken, all of above are confirmed by many research studies in the environment of academies, workplaces.
Second
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,
accordingly
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 to a scientific study that has been conducted by many nations around the world scientists have demonstrated winning in challengeable situations
such
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 as accepting the exam or getting a position in a career has not guaranteed happiness among these people, while others have been tried to grow in their
life
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 by the sense of cooperation and avoiding from the win or fail
as a result
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 of their efforts have gained better achievements and prosperity. In the end, the ideology of win and fail as a way to progressing in the same position in society will growing jealousy, broken communication, and losing the real meaning of
life
Use synonyms
 in our society, so policy maker in specifically in academic situations must provide the environments that have constructed on the cooperation
instead
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 of competition for their nations.
Submitted by homa.ebrahimi987 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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