IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many parents these days work in other countries, taking their families with them. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Due to
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 work purposes, many parents are going abroad with their family members. The downsides of moving to foreign countries can include psychological challenges and cultural adjustment difficulties, but these drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits,
such
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 as financial stability and high-standard education. One disadvantage of living in other countries with family is psycho-emotional problems. Their children may encounter homesickness, and establishing new friendships takes a longer time because adapting to a new environment requires time,
while
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 in their native country, children already have these types of connections.
This
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 often means that isolation from spending delightful time with their peers causes emotional challenges. Cultural isolation can be another downside.
This
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 poses a considerable obstacle reliant on social integration, particularly for those involved in language barriers, as they may face delays for adaptation to a new society and misunderstandings owing to specific traditions.
However
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, the advantages of settling down to pursue a career in foreign countries with family members are far greater. One of the major benefits is improved financial security associated with well-paid work.
This
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 growth in finance can be
due to
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 high salaries, affordable real estate prices, and having a steady income source, which can translate into long-term savings. These financial improvements enable families to invest their resources in enhancing their career prospects, leading to a stress-free life, better housing, and improved healthcare.
Moreover
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, living abroad may provide a premium education
that is
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 not offered in their own region. By having
this
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 greater opportunity, children can be exposed to advanced teaching methods and facilities. In conclusion, moving to another country for employment purposes may entail several trials for families,
such
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 as cultural difficulties and emotional problems.
However
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, the upsides are much more significant, including high-quality learning and financial consistency.

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content
Add more clear examples and details to back points.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas go one to the next.
structure
Keep ideas to one main point per paragraph and use shorter sentences when needed.
language
Check spelling and fix small grammar mistakes to help the flow.
content
The essay shows both sides and has a clear view.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present and fit the topic.
coherence
Link words help the flow of ideas.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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