More people are having cosmetic surgery. Why is the case ? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #case #development

Changing one`s

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appearance

apperance

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appearance

by surgical ways has become

wispered

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whispered

dispersed

in the present time as there is a large number of

people

who desire to look gorgeous. While some

people

think that they can solve their

imperfaction

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imperfection

by cosmetic

surger

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surgery

sure

, I strongly believe that

this

trend has a negative impact on

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society

sociaty

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society

and even it may harm

induviduals

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individuals

. On the one hand, the majority of

people

tries

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try

show examples

to look better and follow social

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standards

standarts

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standards

of beauty. Having a good

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appearance

apperance

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appearance

give them a good

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opportunity

apportunity

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opportunity

in their life or career,

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such as

show examples

public speaking and

self-

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self-confidence

confidance

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confidence

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Furthermore

Furthmore

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Furthermore

, looking graceful, in fact, helps to decline the proportion of depression, which is earlier

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

involved by belief about born imperfections. On

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

hand, elastic surgery may help with

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appearance

apperance

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appearance

problems,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

it could cause

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

several serious health

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diseases

deseases

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diseases

. While doing rhinoplasty without

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permission

permisson

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permission

Change preposition

from

show examples

Correct your spelling

experienced

experience

exeriensed

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an exeriensed

show examples

doctor,

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individuals

induviduals

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individuals

can get an

infaction

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infection

infraction

by injection. In

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addition

adittion

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addition

, after several years, when the period of surgery ends, it can

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

death

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

or even blood stocks. Donatella Versace is a good example of

people

, who could afford cosmetic

surgey

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surgery

Correct word choice

but

show examples

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

could not get what she had expected. To sum up, I am in the opinion, that

elastic

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plastic

show examples

surgery is a negative development.

Nevertheless

Add a comma

,Nevertheless

show examples

it solves issues

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associated

assosiated

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associated

with

hman

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human

apperance

Correct your spelling

appearance

Although

, it brings more serious health problems in the future.

Submitted by ominam29 on Sun Jul 17 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More people are having cosmetic surgery. Why is the case ? Is it positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learnliterature such as novels and poems. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

“Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?”