IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should spend all of their time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #arguments #side #support
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Spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family is in fact very good for
children
Use synonyms
 as they can share everything with their parents and the bond between them will
also
Linking Words
 increase but at the same ,
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 it will definitely have a negative impact on their
growh
Correct your spelling
growth
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will disagree that
children
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their
time
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 completely with family.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in today's world
children
Use synonyms
 are very busy with their academics and other co-curricular activities and they will have very less
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.So it will be good if they spend all their
time
Use synonyms
 with family as they will understand the value of family and can share everything with them. parents will
also
Linking Words
 get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to teach their
children
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 about good and bad. They can make
children
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 understand how to behave with strangers and can teach them manners. Needless to
say
Add a comma
,say
show examples
Children
Use synonyms
 spending all their
time
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 with their family will definitely have an impact on their social life. If
children
Use synonyms
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to socialise
then
Linking Words
 they will not overcome the fear of talking with others freely and probably they will develop poor communication skills.
Children
Use synonyms
 will learn how to be independent , how to socialise and they will
also
Linking Words
 learn what is happening around the world only if they get enough
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with others rather than their family.
Children
Use synonyms
 should understand how things will work outside and they will get to know about different mindsets of people and how to deal with them. All
this
Linking Words
 can be possible only if they spend
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 good amount of
time
Use synonyms
 with others and not family. To conclude, it is advisable for
children
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 to spend
time
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 wisely with both their family and friends
then
Linking Words
 only
children
Use synonyms
 will develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interpersonal skills and get to know more about the outside world.
Submitted by jlv.sapmm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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