IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Global warming is one of the various climate issues. Discuss the possible causes ad offer measures to control the damage caused.

#climate #ad #offer #measures #control #damage
Individuals are now facing an unstable climate because of the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of global warming. In
this
 essay,
both
 reasons and solutions to
this
 matter will be outlined before reaching my conclusion.
To begin
 with, there are several causes that trigger global warming.
Firstly
, greenhouse gas, which contains mostly CO2 and Methane, emit all over the world. It comes from activities of communities,
for instance
, industrial sectors, unsuccessful combustion of cars' engines, and burning unbiodegrable waste.
This
 gas goes up to the atmosphere layers and forms a new invisible barrier which can trap the heat from sunlight in our world leading to the earth's temperature rise.
Secondly
, trees, which can absorb a large amount of CO2, are
both
 legally and illegally cut down
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 things.
For example
, numerous trees are cut in order to make homes, furniture, ornaments, etc.
Thus
, an excessive amount of CO2 remains in the earth and goes to the atmosphere.
Therefore
,
both
 authorities and individuals should collaborate together to tackle
this
 issue. First and foremost, people can change their behaviour by using eco-friendly bags or segregating biodegradable from non-biodegradable to reduce litter and refuse in society,
hence
, the amount of waste to burn
lessen
Correct subject-verb agreement
lessens
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. They can
also
 change their fossil fuel cars to EV cars which do not emit CO2 to the environment.
Moreover
, Authorities should impose restrictions or set up new initiatives, to illustrate, people who do not obey the law will serve a life sentence.
Lastly
, the states can raise awareness and incentivise their locals about the harmful effects of global warming,
consequently
, the public will understand and be wary of their activities.
Overall
, the global warming problem is caused by the recklessness of the population.
Hence
, it is
both
 the governments' and individuals' responsibility to address and alleviate
this
 problem. Keep the world safe and pass it on to the next generation together.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
To improve Task Achievement, consider incorporating more specific data or studies to support your points. This can make your arguments more compelling and credible.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. This will help maintain the reader's attention and make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
You provide a complete response to the task by addressing both the causes of global warming and potential solutions. This demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving the essay a strong framework. The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and provides a call to action.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear, separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, making it easy to follow your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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