Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

In recent years,
home
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-based learning seems to be an alternative to institutions in many countries. Some people believe it facilitates
children
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's
development
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, others believe schools are
the
Correct article usage
a
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more appropriate place to learn.
This
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essay will discuss both views and my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, parents can set up the most appropriate study strategy for their child
while
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at
home
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. To illustrate,
this
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can focus on the weakness of subjects and improve them directly.
For instance
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, in Hong Kong, most parents hire
home
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tutors to teach their offspring because one-to-one lessons can help them improve academic weaknesses and modify the learning pace.
Additionally
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,
home
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-based studying avoids part of the pressures from institutions. Peer pressure from cut-throat competition and bullying is caused in the
school
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, possibly leading to mental health problems and deteriorating personal
development
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such
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, such
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as self-esteem and confidence.
For example
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, a survey taken in primary
presented
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school presented
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that students do not want to attend
school
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because of the stress from the competition and their classmates.
On the other hand
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,
children
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who are not attending
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school
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a school
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learning syllabus could cause significant harmful effects on their
development
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. Looking in detail, schools focus on both academic perspectives and communication and social networking
development
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.
Home
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-based studying means they isolate
from
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themselves from
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society, and
this
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is a barrier to expanding social networking.
Moreover
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, juveniles studying at
home
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represent that they lack opportunities to practise conversation skills and
impossible
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are unable
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to
realize
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realise
show examples
the meaning of cooperation with peers, which is significantly harmful to their
development
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in the future.
For instance
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, scientists reported that offspring who have friends could facilitate eliminating academic stress and proved
it
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that it
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is beneficial to conversation and cooperation
development
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. In conclusion, despite
home
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-based learning eliminating the stress from peer competition and bullying, it is essential for
children
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to study at the academy to develop conversation skills and
realize
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realise
show examples
the importance of cooperation. Personally, I suggest
children
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study at
school
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instead
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of at
home
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.

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Task response
State a clear view in the opening line.
Coherence and cohesion
Give a real example and show how it helps.
Coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with words that show contrast and flow.
Language
Check grammar and word use to fix mistakes.
Content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and ends with a clear opinion.
Structure
There is a proper essay structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
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