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Band 6.5

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
At present, smartphone addiction is commonly found in
children
. In
this
 essay, I will explain why
this
 is happening and why
this
 is a negative trend. The main cause of
this
 trend is
smartphones
 themselves. Since the introduction of the
first
smartphones
, many types of phone
applications
 have been developed e.g., social media, news, game, and many more. Those
applications
 became addictive to not only
children
 but
also
 adults.
However
, the results of exposing themselves to smartphone
applications
 are different between
children
 and adults. The adult has developed mental health to resist and much stuff to do while
children
 usually have free
time
.
As a result
,
this
 leads to some
children
 spending countless hours on
smartphones
. There are both negative and positive impacts on
children
 when they are addicted to
smartphones
. It is undeniable that the smartphone is a mandatory device nowadays and it is important to learn how to use it.
Nevertheless
,
kids
 that spend a lot of hours daily on it will lead to many developmental issues
such
 as learning in school because they have less
time
 to spend studying and social skills because they are less likely to interact with other people.
For instance
,
kids
 that are spending their
time
 reading books, playing sports and learning social skills by interacting with their friends will have better development than
kids
 who spend 12 hours daily on their mobile devices. In the end, those addicted
kids
 will develop unhealthy lifestyles. In conclusion, smartphone-addicted
applications
 are the main reason some kid spends a lot of
time
 on them. It is the responsibility of parents to regulate them and prevent them from developing addiction issues.
Submitted by thanitwongmasath on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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