That's Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

It is commonly believed that advertising has become part and parcel of day-to-day life.

While

Linking Words

some believe that it has enhanced the quality of life, others,

however

Linking Words

, argue that

this

Linking Words

poses a threat to individuals` monetary habits. I agree with the previous notion, and the arguments will be elucidated in

this

Linking Words

essay. To commence, many individuals think that the advertisement is the biggest fraud

that is

Linking Words

legal and approved by the government and the common people. To illustrate, when marketing companies

utilize

Change the spelling

utilise

show examples

many big celebrities, they influence the choice of their followers and promote brands and increase sales figures.

Thus

Linking Words

, these influences create a fake demand for the product and tell the benefits of using that

although

Linking Words

they personally may not use those products.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

2014

Punctuation problem

2014,

show examples

a famous cricketer endorsed a brand for buying luxury homes

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

their fans invested lots of amounts in that project

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

after 5

years

Punctuation problem

years,

show examples

no construction has started, and the money of those fans has been stuck in that project. So, one should use their own mind rather than following the advert.

In addition

Linking Words

, commercials have dominated families` purchasing decisions and turned societies into consumers more than

producing ones

Check wording

producers

show examples

. To illustrate, some folks go shopping once the new products are launched in the market by

becoming

Verb problem

being

show examples

influenced by the ads shown in media

such

Linking Words

Use the right word

show examples

, radio,

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

, and social media.

Moreover

Linking Words

, employees are getting a credit balance

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

promotes

Verb problem

encourages

show examples

them to indulge in unnecessary shopping.

Consequently

Linking Words

, once they get the balance and new ads with the discount, they visit the shop and buy all goods and commodities that may be unnecessary for them.

what

Fix capitalization

What

show examples

can be said is that

such

Linking Words

behaviour puts monetary burdens on families' shoulders and

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

debt. In conclusion,

after

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay has shown the above points, it can be noticed that communities are becoming more fashionable and dependent on advertisements. I support

this

Linking Words

opinion because

such

Linking Words

a trend creates problems like credit and loans

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

people take to

fulfilling

Wrong verb form

fulfil

show examples

their desires.

hebaadlymohamed

Jul 23, 2022

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task response

Be clear about your view in the introduction and keep it in the conclusion. Do not shift your stance.

coherence

Group ideas in clear body paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main point. Use linking words to show how ideas fit together.

task response

The essay has a clear position and a conclusion.

coherence

Some examples are used to explain points.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Excessive computer gaming is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health in the 21st century. Discuss the problems and associated solutions for this issue.