It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?
It is believed nowadays that physical activities are beneficial for children and teenagers.
Therefore
, it is mandatory for all pupils to have physical education
and sports
in all schools
. This
essay fully agrees with this
statement because it will benefit their health
and widen their life opportunities.
First and foremost, mandating sports
in schools
has a positive impact on students
' health
. This
is because enrolling in any sports
club at school will lead to practising more than three times a week, which will result in burning calories and solve the problem of increasing obesity. In addition
, physical education
will help those who have ADHD control their hyperactivity disorder. A recent study found that joining sports
activities will assist with reducing their stress and turning their hyper-energy into something more beneficial.
All in all, exercising at school is essential for students
' health
.
Another crucial point is that physical learning will provide youth with great chances. Some students
can pursue a career in sports
after they graduate, while
others who are financially unstable and cannot afford higher education
can rely on sports
to attain a scholarship. For instance
, various universities, such
as the University of Arizona and Texas University, provide undergraduate students
with a full scholarship based on their performance in football, basketball, and other sports
clubs. For
this
reason, it is of paramount importance for schools
to have physical education
.
In conclusion, I firmly agree with the compulsory exercise and sports
for all pupils in all schools
on the grounds of health
benefits and life opportunities.Submitted by dana-sh on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clear, which is good. However, try to restate your main ideas in the conclusion more effectively to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are mostly supported, but additional details or examples could strengthen your argument. Aim to deepen your explanation of the reasons and effects.
task achievement
You responded to the task well by agreeing with the statement and explaining your reasons. Remember to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they could be more comprehensive. Expand upon your ideas to fully explore the topic.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, which is good. To improve, incorporate more specific and varied examples to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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