IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #money #education #computers #teachers
Education
 is an important asset for everyone. While certain claim,
spending
Correct word choice
that spending
show examples
 should be more on a
computer
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 others claim,
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
 would be best t pent on human
resources
. In my opinion, spending money more on a
computer
 will provide more flexibility in learning and availability of
resources
 as well as people learn anywhere, they are. Practical knowledge is always mandatory for all people. Humans are very well trained in practical training than computers as well as the learner will easily grasp a lesson taught by the teachers.
For example
, my cousin received a high-grade rank in the chemistry laboratory during his schooling and remember his tutor for teaching in an understandable format.
In addition
, human interaction is always essential in the
education
 department. During classroom training,a teacher will understand every student's mindset and give an assignment based on their capabilities. There are numerous positive impacts of investing money in tutors
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 provide practical knowledge and mental strength to understand the lessons. On other hand, technology has enormous
resources
 for educating people. a
computer
 provides more flexibility and comfortability to learn more than expected.
For instance
, when we try to search for some research paper on a
computer
, it will give us multiple options based on our search.
Moreover
, it helps everyone to learn from anywhere. It is not always mandatory to be at school to learn.it gives more expandability to educate as well as spend more time with a family.
Computer
education
 helps
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 with greater expandability on
resources
 and learn from home. To conclude, spending money on
education
 is always improvise society to the
next
 level .Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 spending on teacher for
education
 is good in terms of gaining knowledge and understanding of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 mindset but
computer
 provides more flexibility than a human being.
Submitted by Arunsap05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: