Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness.

#people #money #factor #happiness

I somewhat agree that

money

is a very important element in achieving

happiness

but I

also

believe that

happiness

cannot be bought by

money

alone. In

this

essay, I will give my opinion that to what extent

money

is important to achieve pleasure and to what it's not. On the one hand, a person has many desires in

life

and to achieve most of them he needs

money

. So when he gets the

money

, he starts fulfilling his desires and believes that he got all the

happiness

in his

life

For example

, a man works hard all his

life

and gathers the

money

for his needs to become happy. If everything goes right in his

life

he would start believing that all the

happiness

he got was because of

money

On the other hand

, what I believe is that

money

is not everything because I have seen many people in my

life

who have plenty of

money

, a nice house and a great running business but still they are not happy.They felt something nowhere to be found in their

life

even though they have everything.

For instance

, I saw a person in my

life

who had a lot of

money

but he wasn't happy because he was afflicted with an incurable disease named Creutzfeldt–Jakob. As consequence, I realized that even if a person has

money

, sometimes he becomes helpless and that

money

is unable to make him happy. It can be concluded that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

you are incapable of achieving pleasures in your

life

despite having

money

Therefore

, man should be happy in all circumstances and need not run after

money

because it can fulfil one's needs but cannot keep one happy.

Submitted by osamakhan7878 on Fri Jul 29 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many poeple choose p be selfe-employed,rather than to work for a company or orgnasation. why might this be the case? what would be disadvantages of being self-employed?

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The internet has made knowledge immediately available through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of the knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful Discuss both views.