Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this and what are some of the long-term effects?

#governments #improvements #healthcare #system #health #countries #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In most developed countries,

such

Linking Words

as the United States and the UK, despite the governments offering advanced healthcare, there is a decline in the physical

health

Use synonyms

standards of its citizens. The main causes of

this

Linking Words

situation are extended

work

Use synonyms

hours

Use synonyms

, the negligence of people resulting in early deaths and pressure on the

health

Use synonyms

department staff. A major reason for the decline in physical

health

Use synonyms

is because of the prolonged time people spend at

work

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

the nominal

work

Use synonyms

hours

Use synonyms

are restricted to 40

hours

Use synonyms

per week, those employed in IT spend at least 50

hours

Use synonyms

weekly.

As a result

Linking Words

, the adults do not have time to prepare a healthy meal and consume outside food resulting in deteriorated

health

Use synonyms

. Not taking care of

health

Use synonyms

in spite of having free time is another cause of

this

Linking Words

problem. Though most of the population is educated, due to laziness they fail to pay attention to their well-being. In the long run, there will be huge pressure on the medical staff

such

Linking Words

as doctors and nurses due to an increase in admissions for the treatment of diseases.

Hence

Linking Words

, the ones in these professions will have

work

Use synonyms

-related stress.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there will be an increased death rate due to

illness causing

Add a hyphen

illness-causing

show examples

tension in the country. Owing to these impacts, the nations will experience an immense dip in the economy due to the over-consumption of resources. In conclusion, extended

work

Use synonyms

hours

Use synonyms

and not paying attention to the

health

Use synonyms

qualities of the society increases the workload of the frontline staff of the country and causes an increase in the number of early age deaths.

Submitted by swathi.testemail on Sat Aug 06 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
In the modern world, various people reckon that history is one of the most significant school subjects. It’s considered a debatable topic. Specifically, this topic even grows more significantly when it comes to school subjects. However, others claim that nowadays, subjects like science and technology are more crucial than history. From my perspective, I concur that, no matter what, all school subjects are important for pupils, especially history, to develop the future of this world.
5
band
More and more people understand the need for more diversity in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields, but few women decide to study and work in STEM fields. Schools and universities should implement specific programs to encourage and support women in doing careers in STEM fields
Increasing diversity in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) is essential for fostering innovation and addressing complex global challenges. Despite growing awareness, the participation of women in STEM remains disproportionately low. This gender gap stems from various factors, including societal stereotypes, lack of role models, and limited access to resources and encouragement from an early age. Schools and universities play a crucial role in bridging this gap by implementing targeted programs that encourage and support women in pursuing STEM careers.
5.5
band
Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Riding a bicycle as a major way to transport has played a key role in recent years. That is to say, some individuals may feel that using bicycles has a lot of various plus points. However, some people might believe that riding bicycles for movements has some serious downsides. I strongly agree with the first opinion and in this essay, I will elaborate on my own view.
7.5
band
A lot of people who wanted to become professional athlete gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents’ pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who want to do a career in sports?
Sports have a vital role in boosting one’s mental and physical well-being. Although a large number of people have a dream of becoming a professional athlete, they give up their ambition due to the fear of failure as well as their parents’ pressure to acquire a higher education rather than focus on sports. While some people underestimate the parental role in succeeding children in sports, I strongly believe that parents’ support paves the way for their kids to pursue their dreams.
7.5
band
Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In contemporary society, transportation has become increasingly prominent. While some governments argue that funds should be used to improve railways, some argue it shoud rather be invested into new roads. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. However, this essay aims to analyse the impact that railways have on the environment and society, while also looking at how alternative roads can benefit private car owners.

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this and what are some of the long-term effects?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of people who wanted to become professional athlete gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents’ pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who want to do a career in sports?

Some people think that governments should spend money on railways. Others believe that there should be more investment into new roads. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.