You are coming home late night and detained by police Department for a routine check(patrol). The officer on duty behaved with you rudely. Escalte the complaint to police Commissioner about this incident. In your letter Introduce yourself describe what happened say what you want police Commissinoer to do for you.

#home #night #police #department #check #patrol #officer #duty #escalte #complaint #commissioner #incident #commissinoer

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter to complain about an on-duty officer. My name is Neha Singh and I live at Queenston Drive, Mississauga. On 16th December, I went to Downtown, Toronto to attend my sister's wedding. The ceremony finished at around 1 a.m.

While

coming back from the 404 highway, I and my family got detained by the police department near the Narimon checkpost. I thought it might be a routine check because of the increase in crimes in the city.

Although

I co-operated with the on-duty officer Sandeep Kumar, he made my family uncomfortable. He was rude with his tone and was constantly shouting at me irrespective of the fact that I had all the documents. I understand the importance of patroling but

this

is no way that a responsible citizen suffers. I sincerely request you that please take some action against the officer so that

this

doesn't happen with any others. Yours faithfully, Neha

Submitted by sandeepniet17 on Thu Jun 20 2024

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task achievement

In the paragraph that describes what happened, you might consider adding even more detail to paint a clearer picture of the incident and how it made you feel.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a single idea to improve clarity. The introduction and description of the incident could be split more clearly.

task achievement

You provided a clear introduction about yourself, the incident, and your concerns.

coherence cohesion

The letter has a logical flow and is easy to follow from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is polite yet firm, suitable for addressing a complaint to a police commissioner.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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