Some people think that Government should take measures to improve the health of its citizens. Others think it must be managed by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
presume that the
government
should take measures to improve the
health
of its
people
. Others argue that leading a healthy lifestyle is the responsibility of the
people
. In my opinion, both the
government
and the individuals have an important role in ensuring the
health
of a nation. The
government
can do a lot of things to improve the
health
of its citizens.
For example
, it can build swimming pools and parks with jogging tracks to encourage
people
to exercise and stay healthy. It could perhaps charge a nominal membership fee for the maintenance of these facilities. Physical activity helps
people
lose weight and improves their cardiovascular
health
.
In addition
, the
government
can impose extra taxes on junk foods and other unhealthy
habits
. It can
also
promote a healthy lifestyle through educational programs on television, radio and
newspapers
Change preposition
in newspapers
show examples
.
The individuals
Correct article usage
Individuals
show examples
are equally responsible for their
health
. No matter how hard the
government
tries, if someone does not want to be healthy, the
government
can offer little help. In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
obesity has become a major
health
issue. Poor eating
habits
and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack
physical
Change preposition
of physical
show examples
activity are the major reasons behind us. The
government
could perhaps increase the tax on junk foods but the wealthy will still be able to afford them.
This
clearly shows that the
government
alone cannot improve the
health
of
people
. We are
also
responsible. Every one of us has to make a conscious effort to stay away from unhealthy
habits
.
For example
, we need to eliminate junk foods from our platters and quit
habits
like smoking or drinking. To conclude, both parties, the
government
and the individuals are responsible for maintaining a healthy nation and
people
.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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